Mahasivaratri Talk -2012 (20/02/2012)

Bhakti and Success

As human beings we are engaged in varieties of activities at the personal level, family level, at the corporate level, or even at the national level. We are engaged in several activities in pursuit of some goal or the other. Nobody takes up any activity without a goal or a particular result in mind. Even a dullard will not embark on anything without expecting some result or the other. When the results comes for our activities, if it is in keeping with our expectations we call it SUCCESS. If it is not up to expectations or opposite to our expectations we look on it as FAILURE. Every human being is interested solely in success and nobody wants to face failures in life. Whether it is a small action or a huge venture every human being wants only success in life regardless of they being a ritualist, atheist, devout, Hindu, Christian, Tamil, Afghan etc. There is one universal fact, everyone wants success in life. Therefore “Jayahah” becomes important in everyone’s lives. And when a society becomes competitive as we have become, the value of success becomes very, very important. Right from LKG admission there is competition and we want success. In sports everyone wants success. Even in entertainment field there is competition and success. It has now spread into religious fields too. There are Gita chanting competitions in schools, navaratri kollams are judged and awarded. Our society has hyped the value of success so much. A winner (successful people) is considered extraordinary human being and the consequence of success is heady – the media is waiting. Success brings fame, name, and interviews in the papers including children who are in LKG classes, or on television. Success brings everybody and so every human being wants to be successful.

            Even Swamijis are divided into “successful swamis” or “not successful”. Our society unfortunately grades swamijis also. If he has got several ashrams, many trusts, travels abroad, and has many followers then he is seen as “successful”. He is invited to every function for ribbon-cutting! Therefore we have become a society that has a huge demand for “vijayahah”. When a human being has great dreams of success for the market value is very high for success. Everyone is interested in the methods of success. There are so many programmes,” How to be a winner” or “Alpha Meditation” course. Whether other people will win or not, the programme will be a winner! There are special meditation courses or techniques, astrologers who prescribe remedies (pariharams) so that one may achieve success. There are special temples like Kuthonoor Saraswathi temple where students place their pens for success in examinations. Or a temple that is famous for people who wish to go overseas. All these promise one thing: How to become success in every field. We are not condemning any of these: special pujas, abhisekams, or astrology for they will certainly enhance the possibility of success. But they can never guarantee 100% success. We must remember that as human being, we can never avoid failures in life. When a company interviews 500 people for interviews to fill 10 posts; only ten will end up being happy while the rest 490 have to confront failure even if they had done special pujas, abhisekams, astrological remedies etc!! Therefore logically, we conclude that we will HAVE to confront failures in life both at the micro and macro level. If a person is wise he will prepare himself to confronting them.

            No doubt working for success (it is important to work for success) but it is equally important to prepare ourselves to face failures. Safety measures are required as failure can hurt our mind as they damage us emotionally. We must bear in mind that failures are inevitable and cause emotional damage, we must learn to handle imaginary failures as well as actual failures. Before result comes in we are prey to imaginary failures that cause stress, tension, fear, panic etc. A doctor says a little investigation is required. Once he says that the mind starts to work very very fast. We all know the names of diseases thanks to newspapers. Imaginary failures causes stress and tension while actual failures cause disappointments, depression, anger, frustration, and hatred and all these are unavoidable. When frustrations overpower me, I am angry with the world and I get angry with the Lord also. I have done so many pujas and abhiskems, the Bhagavn has given me failure. God never guarantees success but one can only enhance the possibility of success even for a bhakta. So we get up getting frustrated arising out of failures and become angry with God. In fact our very faith in god gets challenged. We lament and bemoan: God does not have eyes, nose, or even heart is a constant lamentation of devotees when frustrated over failures. It leads to anger and crisis of faith. Therefore the emotional damage caused my failures is huge. Therefore I need to take safety measures to manage the emotional damage caused by the inevitable failures of life. Taking the safety measure is like wearing mental helmet. Even though wearing helmet is important for a motorist unfortunately no one wants to take precautions against emotional damages. We don’t take precautions as we are afraid of the very thought of failure. If we don’t want to think of failure, we don’t take precautions. Many people are so afraid of failure that they feel if they harbour thoughts of failure, it will come to pass. Out of sentimental reason we don’t think of failure. Some people feel that thinking of failures is against positive thinking. Therefore what is intelligence? It is taking precautions against emotional damage caused by failure. Taking precautions will not invite failure. A person wearing a helmet is not inviting an accident. Just because a person is taking a LIC policy he is not going to die tomorrow. Just because we wear seat belt in a car, we are not inviting accident. Therefore it is wisdom to wear a mental safety helmet. A person who wears this helmet is called a spiritually successful person. A person who prepares his mind, takes all the precautions against emotional damages caused by failures is spiritual success. We can define “spiritual success” as safety measures against worldly failures. Therefore our scriptures mention that one must work for worldly success and also parallelly work for spiritual success. Are you able to see the difference? Spiritual success means safety measures against emotional damage caused by inevitable worldly failures which we have to confront of and now. Because every day we were living with hundreds of expectations – expressed expectation and unexpressed expectation – we find success in some and failures in many. Do you think family members are going to do everything as per our expectations? Will the son listen? Each moment things happen against our expectation, we are confronting failures and consequent emotional damage. Therefore we have to bear a mental helmet called spiritual success. Therefore we require two types of successes- world success called laukikah jayahah and spiritual success called Adyathma jayahah.

            Which is more important? Both are important and between them adyathma jayahah is more important as only then I can avoid stress, I can avoid tension, I can avoid anxiety, I can avoid fear, I can avoid disappointments, I can avoid frustrations, I can avoid inferiority complex, I can avoid anger with God. All these I can avoid by following spiritual success (Adyathma Jayahah. We can use Bhakti (in the form of prayers) and our scriptures for successes in both worldly and spiritual goals. Bhakti used in the pursuit of worldly goals (laukikah jayahah) is called Sakama Bhakti and bhakti for spiritual goals (Adythma Jayahah) is called Nishkama Bhakti. Both these bhaktis are available in our scriptures but unfortunately only sakama puja, or sakama abhishekam, or sakama pararthana is popular. All the newspapers, religious magazines, temples sadly only popularize sakama bhakti. We are not even aware of the existence of Nishkama bhakti, Nishkama puja and Nishakama prarthana. Lord Krishna highlights the value of “Adythma Jayahah” and nishkama bhakti in the Bhagavad Gita. HE says both nishkama bhakti and sakama bhakti must go hand in hand as they complement each other. Every venture must be preceded by two pujas: one puja for sakama (worldly goals) and another for nishkama (spiritual goals). Suppose a person says,” I can’t do two pujas. I can do only one. Which one should we do?” There is a secret here and that’s why we are having this Sivaratri talk.

            We should choose ONLY nishakama puja for Adyathma Jayahah. How are we to do this nishkama puja? It is indicated by the Sankalpam: O Lord, I am undertaking a very important venture which has got serious consequences. I am going to give my best efforts and I will do a lot of special puja for the success of this venture. In spite of my “sakama pujas” the result can be success or failure despite by best efforts.” I must be intimately and intensely aware of this fact. It can be a medical investigation for a serious disease. When I do puja I must remind myself that the result can be anything. I am doing this puja so that Bhagavan will give me enough courage; courage to face to anything. I want success but I am not afraid of failure. Whatever will happen, will happen according to Bhagavan’s will and law of karma. I must have enough mental courage to accept both success and failure. I have the courage to confront imaginary failures and I have mental toughness to face real and actual failures. I must tell them in my sankalpa during prayers. After doing the puja, abhisekam, prarthana I must remind myself that I have the courage to face any blessed thing. Any result is welcome. If I enjoy a stress free mind stemming from this courage that Krishna calls “yogah”. A spiritually successful mind is called a yogi mind. In Gita, Krishna says: O human being, do a nishakama puja and prepare your mind to welcome any type of result. Be courageous enough to say: I want success but I am not afraid of failure. Loudly proclaim,” I am equally prepared for sidhis (expected results) and asidhis (unexpected results). So be emotionally prepared for both success and failures. Such an equanimous mind is a spiritual successful mind.

            Lord Krishna emphasizes the value of “samatvam” where a mind does not have anxiety. Nishkama puja removes tension, nishkama puja removes anxiety, nishkama puja removes fear, nishakama puja removes disappointments, nishakama puja removes frustration. Therefore nishkama puja gives me courage. Krishna condemns people who only do sakama puja as they have not insured their minds and like not wearing the mental helmet. They don’t know how to avoid tension and stress. They are bhaktas alright but ignorant and stupid bhaktas who are full of tension. Their bhakti has not removed tension and fear because they have not used bhakti in a proper way in the form of Nishkama bhakti. Therefore Krishna says whether you perform sakama puja or not, may your life should involve a lot of nishkama bhakti and nishkama puja. That alone will save the individual from emotional problems. “Stillness in action means performing the action without tension,” If a person follows this, he will enjoy a calm mind and this will lead to spiritual growth, spiritual knowledge and ultimately to moksha. Therefore what is the message of Bhagavad Gita and scriptures: There are two types of bhakti. Sakama bhakti for worldly success and nishkama bhakti for spiritual success. May you use bhakti appropriately and attain worldly success. And whether you attain worldly success or not, may you attain spiritual success.” Therefore on this auspicious Sivaratri day let us ask Lord Shiva to give us nishkama bhakti along with sakama bhakti. 

Vedic way to victory – New Year 2012

First of all I wish you a happy, healthy, peaceful, and prosperous 2012. In our tradition we are supposed to get up early in the morning and offer our prayers to the Lord. There is one very important and significant prayer for mornings. This is the well-known “Kara Krava Lakshmi”, “Kara Madhya Saraswati” and “Kara Moola Gauri” – Prabatha Kara Darshanam. Look at your hands for Lakshmi resides in the tip of the hand, in the middle there is Saraswati, and at the end is “Durga” or “Gauri”. When you look at the hands don’t look at the lines remembering palmistry but pray to Durga/Lakshmi/ Saraswati. One needs to remember and invoke the grace of all these three deities. There are two reasons to worship them: a) They are the spouses or consorts of the three murthis (Brahma/Vishnu/ Shiva) b) These deities represent three very important Shaktis or powers (resources). Durga Devi represents our health especially important as we are growing old. Lakshmi Devi represents wealth for when health is lost you will realize the importance of wealth in the form of expensive medical bills. Saraswati Devi represents “wisdom” or “knowledge”.

            These three basic resources are required by every one of us: health, wealth, and knowledge. When we have them we don’t know their value and take them for granted.  Only when we are deprived of any one of them we discover the value of that particular resource. Therefore all the three are equally important. When we are sick we think that health is most important. In poverty we feel that wealth is the most important. So which of the three is deprived we conclude that is most vital for living. Actually there is no pecking order and if we give weightage each would score 33.33%!  Health, wealth, and knowledge are necessary for survival, for success in our ventures, and life itself. Hence Sastras recommend that we remember these three resources every day.

            In our tradition we talk of two navaratris – one is called Vasanta (Spring) Navaratri and another is Sarada (Autumn) Navaratri. During navaratri we exclusively worship Durga for three days, Lakshmi for three days, and Saraswati for three days. If we invoke the grace of these three shaktis then what follows? The tenth day is called “Vijayadasami” or victory. The Vedic way of victory is Shakti Samyam – all the three resources must be there and they must be in balance. Otherwise life will be a failure. Therefore let us start the New Year by invoking these deities and every day too.

            The scriptures say that we must ask for two types of favours from each deity – two types of health, two types of wealth, and two types of knowledge. What are the two types of health we must pray from Durga Devi? One is the physical health which is extremely important and second is the mental health. Our modern lifestyle is such that we are neglecting Durga Devi. All the magazines talk of “lifestyle diseases”. Our very lifestyle is the cause of diseases. These are due to improper lifestyle – our eating habits are wrong, sleeping habits are wrong, and working habits are wrong. They reveal that we are disrespecting Durga Devi. One morning prayers states: In Brahma Muhuratham one must not sleep. Sleeping in this time will deplete one’s punyam and produce pappam. For this sin one must do praichittam. Even before New Year eve people attend all night parties, drink all kinds of things, and don’t even see the New Year sunrise (lifestyle disease). Even there is an English proverb that talks about the virtues of rising early: Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy. When you rise early you get the blessings of Durga, Lakshmi, and Saraswati. We are violating all health habits (eating, sleeping, and working habits are wrong because we don’t enjoy our work). There is too much pressure and stress. Work place has become a field of war due to increased competition. I have to outperform all my competitors; there is pressure and lot of aggression. Working places resemble war zones and when we come home it is like Ashoka coming from a Kalinga war. Therefore mental stress is a major problem of modern day living. Continuous stress reduces the immunity of a person and that invites all kinds of diseases. A person may be chronologically 40 years but ravaged by constant stress the body ages to 60. A man squanders his health initially working for wealth. Then he squanders his earned wealth in search of health! And ultimately loses both. In Sanskrit there is a humourous verse – O doctor, my namaskarams to you for you are the elder brother of Yama dharmaraja. Why elder? Yama only takes life while the doctor takes both the life and money and say,” Operation was successful but the patient died”. So Durga Devi is so important and one must pray every day to HER for physical as well as mental health.

            From Lakshmi Devi we must seek two types of wealth. One is the outer wealth in the form of money, gold, shares, real estate etc and the other is contentment. In the Vedic jargon wealth is reduced to “gold and land” to signify every kind of wealth. Swami Dayananda says that we call it real estate for we ourselves have a doubt. Like ever silver is never silver!!! We have to invoke Lakshmi Devi for without external wealth we cannot conduct life. We respect money without which survival is not possible. Even a sanyasi requires wealth in the form of food, clothing, and shelter. Vedas state that we should not stop with the desire for external wealth; internal wealth is just as important – inner wealth in the form of contentment or tripti. If Tripti or contentment is not there we will face several problems. Then desire for external wealth will not be balanced for without contentment desires will escalate. Desires by themselves are harmless but unknowingly “Kama” will be converted into Lobah or Greed. Kama (desire for wealth) is one of the four purusharthas but it needs to be balanced with contentment.

            Modern lifestyle provides a conducive environment for GREED. Every manufacturer is promoting greed for his products through advertising. There is an advertisement you might have seen. A child is asking mom that for pongal it wants a I-pad or Laptop and not some boring toys. The media drives this acquisition and greed in society. If we are not careful we will fall under the trap of greed.

            The first consequence of greed is running after Lakshmi Devi and ignore the other two deities which disturbs the “shakti or resource balance”. Instead of "Shakti Samyam" Lakshmi will become predominant and unbalanced life will have disastrous consequences. Greed will pressurize the mind to become more and more aggressive, and more violent. The value of Ahimsa is thrown to the winds. I shout at everybody as they don’t keep up with me. I work with constant pressure and aggression. Greed will also force a person to compromise with dharmic values too like Indian politicians. First the “shakti imbalance” and the second “the loss of dharma” will obstruct success in our life especially spiritual success. Thirdly when there is greed, there is competition and cut throat philosophy. Some will become more and more rich while most would become poor. There will be few “haves” and many “have nots” and the widening disparity will increase the crime rate. We can never live in contentment for fear of burglary, chain snatching, or even murder. The headline “Old couple murdered” is getting regular and our children are not around. Greed creates a lot of stress. The world has enough for human need but world does not have enough for human greed. If humanity is in the grip of greed then the natural resources would be exploited more. We are abusing nature and it is already turning violent on us. These environmental/ecological imbalances will affect the next generations and they will not have enough even for an ordinary life. Greed causes problems both at the micro and macro level because of individual greed, family greed, corporate greed, national greed. In fact recession is caused from corporate greed. They are promoting more and more loans and credit cards (acquire more and greed is promoted!!!). In our parent’s generation the word loan was fraught with shame while now we wear it as a crown (bhushanam)! We are so caught up with external wealth that we forget the internal wealth of contentment (tripti). Veda says that whatever you earn legitimately one must be contented without comparing with neighbours or falling for New Year discount sales! Therefore we must pray to Lakshmi Devi to extend wealth to include contentment too.

            We don’t appreciate the value of contentment for we wrongly think that our level of enjoyment would come down. This is a serious misconception and delusion born out of greed. Our Sastra take great pains to remove this misconception: If external wealth is the source of joy then internal wealth of contentment is as much a source of joy if not greater.  In Traittreya Upanishad this important message is given graphically. They have divided external wealth into ten levels. Let us imagine a man acquiring more wealth and goes from level 1 to level 2. Let us take another wise man who progresses in contentment levels from level 1 to level 2 (contentment is also divided into ten levels parallelly) . Traittreya Upanishad states the second person who progresses on the contentment scale has hundred times more joy than the person who finds happiness in material acquisition. Let’s say at level -10 a Ambani or Bill Gates and take a wise man sitting under a tree without bank balance, without laptop, without I-pad, without television, without home theatre, without home itself. He’s joy is hundred times more than the richest man on earth. So when you pray for Lakshmi Devi every day include external wealth and also internal wealth.

            Then there is another important deity, “Saraswati”. From Saraswati Devi we have to seek two types of knowledge. One knowledge is material knowledge given by material sciences; science and technology being developed in thousands of laboratories all over the world. They are trying to corner the external world with better set-up; better houses, better gadgets and everything better and better. Conquering the external world and manipulating the set-up which is called Apara Vidya. The Para Vidya is spiritual sciences represented by our scriptures which are designed to change our internal mindset.

Material sciences are used to adjust the external set-up to suit our likes and dislikes. While spiritual knowledge is to change our mindset. This is extremely important for however advanced material sciences maybe we can never be totally in control of the external set-up. Go to Pondicherry and see the havoc played by the cyclones! The external set-up is uncontrollable, unpredictable, and unsustainable and we will have to face unfavourable professional situations, we will have to face unfavourable family situations, unfavourable personal situations according to our karma. We have to face unfavourable set-up either temporary or face them lifelong. The doctor will say, “You will have to live with it” for there are many genetic diseases for which there are no remedies.  In such a situation material sciences will throw their hands in despair. When we cannot adjust the set-up it has become a choiceless situation then you will have to adjust the mind. Our mindset and perspectives must be adjusted such that it cushioned and protected from the external unfavourable situations. Like wearing a cooling glass in hot sun that protects the eyes but when things cannot be changed externally we must know how to adjust the mind. That is why our Sastra make a difference between spiritual ignorance and spiritual knowledge.

An ignorant mind is like a convex lens that magnifies any external unfavourable situation. The doctor only says there should be an investigation and the mind begins to dread the worst. The mind is always is insecure, always in panic and exaggerates every little difficulty. Spiritual ignorance exaggerates every choiceless situation. In contrast spiritual knowledge is one that makes a person face even the most unfavourable situation with an appropriate attitude. Lord Krishna in the Gita presents two techniques to deal with any problem: Karma yoga and Jnana yoga. Material sciences teach how to adjust the world while spiritual sciences alone will tell us how to adjust the mind. Mental adjustments are necessary when we are facing choiceless situations. There are certain situations that have no remedy and at that time you need spiritual knowledge to cope with your situation. Therefore pray to Sarawati for both types of knowledge.

            So on this auspicious new year let us invoke the grace of Durga, Lakshmi, and Saraswati for two types of health, physical and mental; two types of wealth, physical and contentment; two types of knowledge, material sciences and spiritual knowledge. Let this prayer be on behalf of ourselves, our families and the entire world. 

Different Stages of Bhakthi

In our tradition offering obeisance and performing puja to idol is part of our religious upbringing. Arjuna starts of the chapter asking Krishna as to whether worshipping god with form is superior to worshipping a formless one. The Lord says,” One is the means and another is the goal and there is no comparison”. From then HE patiently explains (Krishna is teacher exemplary for Arjuna is really a dumb student and Krishna explains the same thing a countless times till even he grasps it!!!) and that follows the backbone of this chapter.

Here Bhakthi yoga is seen as a staircase for personal evolution. The objective of a human life is MOKSHA; freedom from wants of any kind. I am free here and now and I am complete and I need nothing to validate my existence is one simple definition of moksha. For example, if I lose my eyes tomorrow, I must have the strength of mind to say,” So what? I will learn to live without sight from now on”. We are talking to this kind of attitude where sorrow can never intrude in my mind. Only a mind soaked in Adwaitha can reach this state of mind.

The 5 different stages of Bhakthi:

1) Karma yoga – level one: I lead a prayerful life and invoke God, the first thing on waking up, even while bathing and eating, working, and at the time of retiring to bed. At this stage, I have a lot of materialistic needs: son to get admitted in IIT, daughter to get married, a sick mother etc and I invoke God for his grace to alleviate me from my problems.

Most of us pray and remember God either for alleviating pain or for seeking prosperity (better car, better job, better pay etc). The primary attitude of a seeker at this stage is: Eeshwara Arpanam; dedicating all the actions to the Lord and Prasada Budhi; I accept any situation that is happening in my life as a GIFT from the lord (particularly the negative ones). The logic is simple. God can never be partial and whenever I suffer in life, it is on account of my prarabdha karma.

2) Karma yoga – level two: Here at this stage, I don’t appeal or beg the Lord to change my worldly situation. Instead I pray to the Lord for mental strength in facing up to my situation.


I will not ask God to change my karma and learn to be dispassionate to either success or failure. I increasingly have the maturity to realize that each experience in life has a lesson for me and my primary goal in life is to STRENGTHEN/TOUGHEN and PURIFY the mind. The mind needs to be nourished and be fit enough to learn the spiritual truths.

We see people take vows: wrapping a coin and praying for relief or fasting or swearing to go to temples if certain things happen. They are all immature behaviour and fall in a lower category. Hinduism is NOT a problem solving or wish fulfilling religion as much a guide for liberation (moksha).

If God were to appear before you and ask,” What do you want?”

Be smart and say,” Jnanam and Vairagyam” and nothing else should come out of the mouth!!!!

3) Saguna Upasana (Meditating on God with form) – Level one

Now, we will ask ourselves this question: what is more real? Body or Mind
The latter obviously for body has an expiry date while the journey of the mind is as old as Shristhi (creation). So, isn’t it important to STRENTHEN and PURIFY the mind?

The first stage of being on the “path” is to reduce our dependence on worldly things and start the “internal journey” of exploring the mind. A human life is at best a hundred years and so it makes sense to LEAN more on God with whom our relationship is endless.

Why can’t the world give lasting pleasure? Because, it is:
- Unpredictable (can you predict how your darling wife today will behave tomorrow!!!)
- Uncontrollable (World is nothing but external events and can anyone control the outcomes?!)
- Unsustainable (Bill Gates despite all his billions will have to die one day!!!)

Our scriptures advices us that for “emotional insurance” only devotion to God is the sole recourse. So, spend quality time and energy in worshipping god in solitude and may you grow stronger in the mind.

4) Nirguna Upasana (meditating on formless God) – Level two

As our dependence on the world decreases and as faith in God increase, there is one immediate benefit – Our bhayam (FEAR) comes down.

The purpose of meditation is to be in PEACE with oneself – find CALM, CHEER, and CONFIDENCE (3 Cs) in oneself.

The “Ishta devata” chosen in the earlier stage is now meditated upon as “Viswa Ishata devata”. Meaning, if you were meditating on Lord Rama, now expand it to Rama in which the entire creation rests.

Learn to see divinity in plants, animals, human beings including our tormentors. The payoff is that you begin to reduce your likes and dislikes (raga – dwesha) as everything emanates from the same Lord and nothing can be bad or superfluous in HIS creation. Quite simply, the mind EXPANDS and one becomes more tolerance of oneself and others.

5) Jnana Yoga

Only such a mind is fit to study Vedanta under a guru. It can easily assimilate,” I am Brahman and in me the whole universe rises, rests and resolves” for essential nature of God and ME is similar.


From a superficial viewpoint, a wave is small, fleeting, short lived while the ocean is infinitely large and almost permanent. But the reality is that the nature of both, the wave and ocean is WATER and from that viewpoint there is no difference between then. Wave is only a name and form (nama and rupa) and does not have separate existence of its own. For isn’t it WATER in another form!!!

For Jnana Yoga to sprout in one’s mind, one must be engaged in Sravanam (consistent and systematic study of scriptures under the guidance of a competent Acharya), Manam (Mental reflection) and Nidhi Dyasanam (assimilate the teaching).

In my next post, I will endeavour to describe the Bhakthi phalam (fruit of bhakti) as the mind struggles in its evolution to find peace and security.

The fruits of Bhakthi

Last lecture we saw the 5 stages of Bhakthi: Karma Yoga -1
Karma yoga -2
Saguna Upasana -1
Nirguna Upasana -2
Gnana yoga

Here I will describe the fruits of such a sustained practice.

Benefits: 

The first benefit is FREEDOM FROM INTERNAL MENTAL DISTURBANCES

Why? Because, I have learnt to handle Raga-Dwesha. Once the source is taken care of, then its offsprings will no longer trouble us: Kama, Krodha, Loba, Moha, Mada, Matsarya!!!

Raga is strong likes and caused by an emotional dependence to the external world; of relations, events, and circumstances.

Once Bhakthi is well established in an individual – HE has faith in the 5 stages of appreciating GOD- that person will never lean on others emotionally for support.

Remember, leaning on others is only ATTACHMENT
While giving SUPPORT to others is called LOVE

So, a true Bhaktha GIVES SUPPORT and DOES NOT TAKE SUPPORT

Dwesha is a strong sense of dislike and aversion to a person or event. Some of us even hate personalities from television news or even soaps. Or you might hate your cricketers or film stars even when they have had nothing to do with you personally – a sign of a weak and immature mind.

A true Bhaktha can never hate for he sees the entire world as Viswarupa Easwara. If that be the case, where will hate spring from? The Lord is all knowing and wise and who am I to question or hate any of HIS creations; bit hard to take if you have a nagging wife or Hitler boss at work!!! But the solace is GOD is giving you the bitter medicine for your internal growth.

So, a true devotee never complains about his lot in life and sees them as learning opportunities. He is incapable of hating anyone including a poisonous snake. He is smart enough to keep away but mentally has goodwill for one and all. Best wishes for every single thing. No exception.

Kama: He does not have any strong desires or passionate attractions. For he has discovered the fountain of joy and bliss – Santoshah- within himself and having tasted internal fulfillment, the outside holds no more fears. He is in a way unraveled the “concealing power” (in Sanskrit, avarana shakti) of Maya and for him the entire world is nothing but a play. 

He works for “Loka Samagrah” (fulfillment of other’s desires) and this is a non binding work and in no way affect his internal equanimity.

Krodha: When do we get angry? It is an emotional response to something that does not tally with one’s intellectual norm.

For a man of realization, he sees the entire drama of life around him as a sport and the strings of Prarabdha Karma. When one is emotionally stable, then there can be no more violent emotional responses. Any intellectual disagreements are seen as different points of view.

LOBA is mentally holding on to things – attachment. Typical example is the mother-in-law holding the keys of the house tucked in her saree. That is a source of power!!!

Isn’t that sense of LOBA destructive and futile when I realize that I (the jiva) do not own anything including my body. I am not here to own but to serve is the attitude of a true Bhaktha. 

Handing over the keys of your life to Bhagawan is a prudent move. 

Dropping the sense of OWNERSHIP & CONTROLLERSHIP is a very important milestone in mental development.

For those grieving from loss of relatives, there is one comforting thought – GOD gave you a loved person and has now taken them away. Having enjoyed the gift so long, thank the Lord and go forward. 

MOHA (delusion from right from wrong)

The greatest delusion is that the external world of people and events will give me happiness. The external world can only provide PLEASURE and PAIN; happiness is a far cry. 

The world is characterized by Beauty, Variety, and Novelty (so many different people and all shapes and temperaments). But they can never offer Stability for all these elements keep changing with time. Watch the events and allow it to pass through without attaching any importance.

Only knowledge of Atman/Consciousness/Bhagawan is the ONLY security.

MADAM (pride/vanity)

A true devotee is never arrogant or envious for he knows the truth: all glories belong to the Lord. 

When I see someone more gifted than me, there is no envy but pleasure that GOD is better manifested in that medium.

MATSARYA (Competitiveness)

An ignorant fool works all his life in one-upmanship, or Owner’s pride and neighbour’s envy.

Here the attitude of a Bhaktha is, “ I am fine as I am”

He can get along with anyone and others too take content in his company. The devotee is “considerate to others and himself”.

I will not disturb any setup
And no setup will disturb me…….that state is called SAMATHVAM

As anyone can see, these are benefits to being a true Bhaktha. It is definitely worth trying for and one day, we will get there. Better this janma or carry forward to the next but there is no escaping. All the best!!!!

Gurupoornima Talk – 2011

The nature of Happiness
 
Gurupoornima or Vysya Poornima is a day dedicated to the worship of the entire guru tradition beginning from Dakshinamurthy, Vysyacharya, and Adi Sankara. Besides worshipping these great masters we also dwell on spiritual study on this occasion. Brahmavidya or Atmavidya is the study of the spiritual truth or essence of the whole creation. It is defined as sat (pure existence)-chit (pure consciousness) –ananda (pure happiness). Today the topic of this talk is “Ananda” swarupa.

The first lesson of Vedanta is that “Ananda” is not one of the objects in creation. There is no object in this world as “Ananda”; happiness is not an object is a huge insight for any spiritual aspirant. Happiness is also not an ingredient of any object. Happiness is a feeling that we experience now and then in the mind. When it comes and goes we do not know. How long will it last, we don’t know. The next sms can snatch my peace of mind away!

Happiness is a feeling in your mind. I cannot experience it in other’s minds. Our general conclusion is that “Ananda” belongs to the mind. Since we experience it in the mind and so it makes sense to associate with it. But the Sastras inform us that happiness is a feeling that is “available” in the mind but it does not belong to the mind. Vedanta enlists five features of Ananda or happiness:

a) Happiness is not a part or a product or a property of the mind.
b) Happiness is an independent entity which pervades the mind and makes the mind happy now and then.
c) Happiness is not limited by the boundaries of the mind. It is an independent entity which is boundless, hence all-pervading.
d) This boundless happiness continues to exist even after the destruction and disintegration of the mind. It is all-pervading and eternal. Limitless spatially, and all-pervading time-wise.
e) This eternal all-pervading happiness which survives the disintegration of the mind is not available for feeling or any transaction not because it is not there but there is no medium for it to manifest.

Happiness seems like a feeling in the mind but it does not belong to it. Take the moonlight of a “purnami” (full moon) day. There is no such thing as moon light for it is only in reality a reflection of sunlight. Similarly, mental happiness is not mental happiness but Atman/Brahman appearing in the mind.

Where can I find this Atman or Brahman that every person or animal or even plants seek instinctively? I want to be happy at all times. One does not say that I want happiness only for one day a week or couple of hours a day. One wishes to be happy at all times and at all places. That leads to the second lesson:

Lesson – two: There might be a desire to acquire “Brahmananda/ Atmananda”. Where can you find it? Every person seeks “Ananda” instinctively though their way of seeking it may differ. One person finds happiness in a flat while another would insist on a bungalow. Happiness is universally sought even by animals and plants. For how many days you want to be happy? Say 3 days a week and 2 hours a day. The fact is everyone wants to be happy at all times and at all places. This leads to the second lesson that Vedanta dishes out.

You can never find “Brahmananda/Atmananda” in creation. Because it is not an object outside or is it inside the mind. Vedanta says that “Ananda” is never available as an OBJECT. Then I might wrongly conclude that “A” does not exist. The Sastras affirm to a mind-boggling premise: If “Ananda” does exist and it is not object, it is possible ONLY under one condition. It is the subject “I” which is the “observer” that experiences the objects outside and inside. OBSERVER is one that never becomes an object. Why? It is unobjectifiable. Vedanta says that Ananda is infinite happiness and it is you, yourself. It is never experienced or experientiable as an object of perception. You can never EXPERIENCE happiness because you are ANANDA yourself. It is similar to that the eyes can see everything except itself. The seerer can’t be seen. “Ananda” has to be claimed as myself through Jnanam.

“B/A” can never be got as an object. If it comes and goes then it is not “Ananda”. It is something you don’t find outside you, instead you claim it as you, yourself. Therefore “Brahmananda/Atmananda” is also called “Vidyananda” – it can be attained and claimed through vidya. Once I claim myself as “Ananda” what will happen?

Lesson – 3: The first lesson was the five features of “Ananda” and second was “I am Ananda myself” for a recap. Once I know I am “Brahmananda” all my struggle to get “B/A” from outside – objects, people, relations - will end. The struggle is called “Kamah” or “desire”. Desire is the mental struggle to get “happiness” by buying objects or pampering a certain relation. A bachelor gets married to find “A” through his wife. Then the married couple “struggle” for children…..every action of a human being is born out of a kama (desire). I tell myself everytime: Once I get that object I will be comfortable. What do I discover? I find that the object does not give me happiness for even a limited time. It seemingly gives Ananda for some time. Then I get worried about preserving it. Every relation/object is a strain and so I go to the next object (Kama is always a English comma!!!). But once I discover that I am the ONLY source of happiness then I will no longer entertain any dependence outside. The struggle to get Ananda from outside will end. The struggle to “hold on” to an object also ends. For instance getting a cook or a driver is so difficult; in fact moksha is a lot easier. When they come late you have hold your tongue. Arjuna in the battle cannot even imagine a state without Bhishma and Drona.

Earlier there was one relation we took for granted – marriage. Now even that has become difficult to retain. There was an article I read in “Readers Digest” titled “How to retain your spouse?” and that talks how to dress differently and how to exercise etc. What is samsara? Every moment is a struggle to attain or retain. It is cycle of Attainment (yoga) and Retention (skhema). The moment I claim “Brahmananda” then there is no struggle either for yoga or schema. The mind is RELAXED. The definition of moksha is the end of yoga/skhema struggle. For survival and livelihood, it is okay to struggle.

Samsara is a struggle to attain happiness. A mind free from Kama and Raga is a relaxed mind. In a relaxed mind my own “Ananda” gets reflected (relaxed because I am not worried about yoga and skhema). The reflected Ananda is called “Viragananda” in which there is no worry about acquiring or anxiety about losing.
If Jnanam and Vairagyam is not there then I will wrongly conclude that Ananda is an object outside (Moha). I will conclude even as a baby,” this toy gives me ananda and not that toy.” Today we have malls for toys and teddy bear costing over 5 k. In this consumerist society we are constantly bombarded: without this object you are not complete. Advertisements always show a happy family, swimming pool, sea-view, and very seductive images to sell. The moment I conclude that I can’t live without it, the mind becomes a demanding mind.

The struggle to purchase makes a relaxed mind into a demanding one. After 25 years of struggle, I buy a house for 75 lacs. I am so excited that I conclude that the new house gives me joy. Vedanta says that the house never gives anyone joy. Then what has happened? The desire to acquire it was so great that it build a mental pressure. Once I achieved that desire, the house serves as a needle. The pressure is relieved by the needle. The mind is calm once again; then my own Ananda is reflected (Ananda gets reflected only in a calm mind). I build up the pressure, buy the flat, then release the pressure and get my own reflected happiness. It is like Nasruddin Mullah’s argument!! He purchases shoes which are very tight. He struggles with them at the office for 8 hours. When he comes home, he removes those shoes and finds “Ananda”. We are all like that!! Every happiness stems from our illusion; we build the pressure and then we release it!!! A dog goes chasing for the bone. It bites it and sees blood. It concludes that the blood is from the bone while the reality is that it is its own blood. Reality: the bone is bone dry.

We are like that dog running after “Vishayananda” (objects and relations) out of ignorance. They contain no pleasure whatsoever. There is a lot of struggle: pain dissatisfaction-> further desires-> retention. Running after objects is SAMSARA; while Viragananda is moksha.

After attaining “Atmananda” if you go after “Vishayananda” then it becomes a non-binding desire. Claiming “Vidya” and “Vairagyam” is moksha and running after “Vishyananda” is samsara.

The Value of Speech – New Year 2011

Last year the topic was ‘Value of Silence” and this year, I shall dwell on the “Value of Speech”. Both the faculty of speech and silence are equally important and we must use them judiciously. One must know when to use “silence” and when to use “speech”.

The faculty of speech is unique to the humans; like that of intelligence. These are two faculties that make us superior to other beings in creation. Both of them are extremely important (one cannot determine which is superior) and they complement one another.

A lot of research has gone into training the animals to speak; only with some measure of success the monkeys and baboons can be trained. On observations we find that the speech organs are well developed in primates almost to the level of humans but their intellects are not developed to appreciate the faculty of speech. Thoughts and words are inter-connectable is an important concept. The principle of verbal communication is that thoughts can be expressed in words; which then can be converted into thoughts and ideas in the listener’s mind. This inter-connectability between thoughts and words is extremely important and for this “intellect” comes into play. It is this lack of intellect that prevents a baboon or other animals from verbal speech.

Let’s take another extreme; the intellect is developed but not the faculty of words. We will be islands of knowledge with no method of sharing and communicating. There would be no library, no internet, and no institutions. These islands of knowledge will not be of use to anyone and similar to that of a reservoir that has no channels for distribution. Therefore both “intellect” and “speech” are important. That is why we have Saraswati as the idol for intellect and Brihaspati for speech.

If one can use both “intellect” and “speech” properly, the entire life will be a blessing. There are certain guidelines to master for intelligent application of “I” and “S” in day to day living. Observe these five areas and make an important difference in our lives:
a) Information Sharing (IS)
b) Acknowledgement (Akw)
c) Appreciation (App)
d) Consolation
e) Connection.
You can remember these with the acronym ISAACC (Newton)

a) Information Sharing
When we start our day, we plan our activities. Before implementing, it is wise to share this information with concerned people if our plans will impact them. It may not make a difference to us, but it will greatly ease other’s life. Not sharing information may inconvenience others especially family members. A housewife goes through daily agony simple because the members of the family don’t share their daily programme. When they go out and when they are likely to come. Whether we would have breakfast or lunch; whether they will bring guests or not. These people though educated in material sciences but they lack “sensitivity” to others.

Never take your family for granted and putting other’s in agony is Ahimsa. When the wife asks where are you going or when; the individual may flare up. They will quote scriptures: when I go out, you are not supposed to ask for it is inauspicious. Or take the example of a person waiting for “vadathiar” from 7 in the morning. The priest does not turn up till noon and this man loses faith in ‘Sharddam”. So it pays to always share information or update information so that others will have an idea as to what to expect. Silence in this area is pappam or gross lack of sensitivity for it is Himsa of other’s time. Similarly, if you wish to visit any of your friends inform them in advance. You cannot just land up as a gate-crasher. Fix an appointment and also the duration; keep up the appointment instead using Chennai traffic snarls as an excuse and turn up late. Giving the duration is important so that the other person knows whether he can spend 5 minutes or 50 minutes without upsetting his schedule. Athiti Devo Bhavah is our culture; where athiti is defined as one who comes as a guest without appointment. Therefore honouring a athiti is a punya karma; but becoming an athiti is a papa karma. Another meaning of ‘athiti” is one who does not have a second night. In the olden days, people traveled on foot to long distances and rested in the night at any village. They were looked after by local hospitality. In this day and age of planes and hotels; this will not apply. So from “athiti” we should become “sathiti” – be an invited guest or ask for consent. Can I stay? If they hesitate then it is better to avoid.

There is a funny sloka in Sanskrit. A son-in-law can stay with this inlaws for it is a heavenly experience for a week. If he extends then there will no honey, no curd, and no ghee. You can make excuses of no reservations etc. After a month, they will kick with chappels. The silver plate will become leaf; and plastic cups.

Therefore always fix up an appointment; duration even on the phone. Ask: is it the right time to talk to you? I need five minutes of your time (and stick to it). Information sharing is part of Ahimsa; the greatest dharma.

b) Acknowledgement
When the message is important, we use a registered post. This comes with an acknowledgment card. We feel relaxed that the mail has reached. So this same principle can be used in direct communication.

When I am talking, I have no clue how the other listens. For listening and registering are mental jobs; and the mind is an invisible instrument. Now I am talking to you with the hope and prayer that you understand the way it is intended. It is a one-sided action in total darkness. Darkness for there is no way of knowing whether the mind is in asthika samajam or not? Even if the mind is here, does listening happen? I have no way of knowing. Therefore, every verbal exercise is an exercise in darkness; like drawing a picture in a dark room. I start to draw Vinayaka and then it looks like Anjaneya.

Every communicator works in this darkness; there is a stress and strain to him regarding whether the message is understood or not; or its importance. The more important the message, the more the anxiety especially when the future is involved. As a listener, we can do a service here to allay the fears of the communicator just like we sign the ack card of the registered post. “I have clearly received and registered the message. I know how important the message is for you. I am aware of the emotions involved (from facial expressions and body language). I am going to co-operate”. Reproduce the message in your words to lessen the anxiety. It can make a fantastic difference in the intelligent use of the faculty of speech.

Instead should I be callous and talk of some other subject, then it will be registered in the other’s mind for his mind is still in turbulence. Instead of jumping to comments or suggestions or advice, pause to acknowledge the message the other is trying to communicate. This applies to even criticism; imagine a spouse giving a one hour lecture: you are useless through logical proof. The intelligent approach is not defending/ not denying/ not even silence. You must simply say,” You say I am useless. You say I am like that from the day of marriage in 1973”. Acknowledgement is not acceptance; it just relieves the other person. Some persons conduct programmes in 5 star hotels and charge 5 k for a day. The husband is made to sit in front of wife and listen to her for half an hour; then vice versa. He should listen without responding. Both come relaxed after the programme.

Therefore you don’t have to respond or reply to an emotional outburst. A simple acknowledgement can make a huge difference.

c) Appreciation
Appreciation is one thing everyone loves whether they deserve it or not. Even animals love!!! So do Gods!!! On Sivaratri day, we chant one hour of namakkam; appreciation of lord’s attributes and when HE is happy; we chant chamakkam. O Lord, give us our daily bread.

Everyone wants appreciation; it is nourishment for internal personality. Children will grow in leaps and bounds when appreciated. Therefore, liberally use the organ of speech for appreciation when you across any good conduct or deed. Look for anything positive to commend. Even if there is nothing, appreciate the existence of the person.
“Priyavakyam” or pleasant words of appreciation makes people happy and helps them grow internally. Let the proportion of appreciation to criticism increase. From 0% appreciation and 100% criticism; shift the proportion upside down. Watch your words and never be stingy in appreciation. It does not cost a thing.

Batruhari talks about the attribute of a Mahatma who always has a word of appreciation even if they find an atom of virtue in someone. They take a huge magnifying glass in appreciation and a concave mirror not to comment on hundreds of dosas. Therefore, never follow the value of silence when appreciation is due. Learn to appreciate your family members; never say that they are just doing their duty.

It is not right to seek appreciation, but it is the duty of everyone to offer appreciation. Don’t mix them up!!!! If we are stingy on appreciation, the Lord may take away our organ of speech.

d) Consolation
When we have physical pain, a gentle massage will give relief. It may not be a cure but nonetheless. Words of consolation serve similar; they are a massage for the mind (one of the pancha mahayagna).

Even there is no cure for emotional or physical pain of a person; we can give relief with words of consolation. Remember never to use this occasion for fault finding, comments, or advice or provoking guilt (you did not listen to me and so you are suffering now!!!). Consolation is words of sharing other’s pain. It acknowledges that I am aware of pain; I share the pain. Shared pain is pain relief and must be part of our day-to-day activity.

e) CONNECTION
To maintain any relation exchange of words are required. Keep in mind to avoid all uncomfortable areas. First before speaking, learn about the comfortable topics and uncomfortable topics of the listener. Delving on “touchy” subjects will end in arguments, conflicts, and fights. Instead of reinforcing a relation it will weaken it defeating the very purpose of communication. So, talk of pleasant topics like music seasons or any subject in which both are comfortable. The objective of any communication must be “connecting conversation”.

Finally if we use the organ of speech intelligently it becomes an ornament. The best ornament is the organ of speech which is judiciously used in these five areas. With this ornament, you can become popular in any environment; you attract everyone to you.

There are two kinds of people; those who give happiness wherever they go, another who give happiness whenever they go away. One brahmachari said,” MSM – mobile saw mill”, which means don’t be an aruvai. Let us not become MSM. Use the faculty of speech intelligently; it will make your life and others around you happy. I wish you a happy 2011 and may you make the best use of silence and speech.

The Value of Silence – New Year 2010

We have started the year with a puja so that we can have the grace of the Lord to remove all the unknown obstacles for both material and spiritual growth. We need both the grace of the Lord and our self-efforts to make our lives beautiful and meaningful. Our lives depend on external circumstances and also the way we perceive the world and respond. So, there is always an external factor and internal conditions. Like in the Ramayana were Kaushalya and Sumithra faced the separation of the sons. Event being the same, their reactions and response were totally different. Kaushalya was distraught and created a scene while Sumithra was calm and even advised Lakshmana and consoled Kaushalya. Therefore, quality of life is entirely dependent on the set-up and events but “equally” dependent on mental maturity too.

The difference between materialistic approach to life and spiritual is this: in the former I totally depend on external conditions and events (the focus is on the external) while in the latter I also focus on the internal conditions to determine the quality of life. The disadvantage with dependence solely on an external factor is there are numerous elements that constitute it. And secondly I have very little control on them. In contrast, when I work on internal conditions, there are things I can change or improve. And when I work on myself, there is potential for inner growth.

The skill of perceiving the world and responding in a mature manner is prescribed for inner growth in the scriptures through numerous sadhanas. Internal growth is the emphasis; what is the point of “global warming” when there is “internal warming” inside. The scriptures talk of one faculty that is universal and we are all endowed with. This powerful faculty helps us grow internally and this is the “faculty of silence”. We often talk of speech but ignore the faculty of silence. Silence is extremely effective faculty as our saints have used this to become wiser. Silence is called “maunam”, derived from the word “muni” (the state which has been used by all sages uniformly not only for inner growth but also spiritual wisdom). Lord Krishna gives the title “mauni” for a great person. Maunam is for inner refinement and spiritual progress; the way we respond and react to the world would drastically change (and improve) if we can spare effort to grow in maturity. It will in fact change the very quality of our life.

There are three different principles to follow if silence is to be effectively used for inner growth.

Learn to spend some time in solitude
In our times, talking has become an addiction; talking on the phone, cellphones and reveling in words. There is a need to communicate in every direction; so it is worthwhile to spend some time in solitude and not interact with anyone or the world. Solitude does not mean going to the forest; any set-up where we cannot talk or need not talk as in a library. Or take a long solitudinal walk without the cell phone and it is beneficial exercise once in a while.
Why is solitude recommended?

When I am interacting with the world all the time, I am using body-mind for contacting. The world is the object and B/M the instrument of transaction. In solitude there is no object and so the body-mind becomes an object of experience. So, from an instrument they become an “object of experience”. But generally, we are not able to confront our B/M. Majority are skilled in the affairs of the world, totally flummoxed or unprepared handing the B/M; confronting them requires tremendous maturity. Immaturity to handle one’s own B/M is LONELINESS, it creates fear, depression, and frustration to the mind. But when I learn to confront my B/M in solitude; I become more and more adept to handle the fears of loneliness (fear, depression, and frustration). This is particularly useful for old people who are saddled with a lifetime of experience and not many to share their thoughts.

When external world creates problems, I can escape from it, Say a movie, or party, or music etc. But when I cannot confront my own B/M, I have no place to escape. Even if I go to Mount Kailash, I will still carry my sick mind with me. Therefore “silence and solitude” is a wonderful rehearsal for ageing for gaining inner maturity. I can confront or face my own B/M better in the process. So, practice silence in solitude, every once in a while.

I encourage others to talk more and more; I encourage myself to listen more and more.
We can be in the midst of people and still practice the faculty of silence. The benefits are manifold:
a) When I listen more and more, I follow silence and not the power of speech.
b) When I listen, I double the happiness of others (when they are happy) and halve their sorrows (when they are in pain). Listening is a psycho-therapy and empathy for the others. Most of us when we are distraught are not interested in solutions (which everyone freely give and cause more confusion). They only seek understanding and empathy and not your comments or suggestions or solutions. So to jump to offering advice is an emotionally inappropriate response. When someone asks for water, it is foolish to give dosai and adai (it will only increase the thirst). Patient listening is effective employment and practice of silence. Your only expected to say,” okay, certainly” and anything more is just a vocal fritter of energy.
c) By listening to others, I can learn a lot even without going through experiences. I gain inner maturity by mere listening. Adi Sankara talks a lot of grishta, how? They learn a lot a patient learning. So what is therapy for a grishta while talking to a sanyasi, it is a maturity for a sanyasi (even if he had the slightest doubt, it would dissipate).
d) Listening to others without interrupting to other’s speech is a vocal discipline. Many fall into the trap of parallel comparison and not able to resist. If someone says they went to Rishikesh you immediately pounce and jump to talk about your Rishikesh experience. Whether Telgana state is required or not? If someone takes a different line to yours, you jump immediately to negate the view. I am so intolerant to others and there is so much pressure; I contradict, counter, marshal my arguments. I have no patience to listen to other’s arguments. It takes a lot of “self-control” to listen to someone else views especially when they are contradictory. In the first chapter of Gita, Lord Krishna had to listen even to Arjuna’s lectures. But he never interrupted, not a word. HE listened and did not advice till Arjuna surrendered. NEVER ADVICE UNLESS ASKED. Mouth restraint is the toughest thing (both the eating mouth and the speaking mouth!!!). Never forget that people want empathy and not allopathy or homeopathy. Listening is one of the toughest spiritual exercises in self-control. When people talk simultaneously, no one listens as it happens in Parliament. So, I learn this very clearly: I WILL NOT TALK WHEN THE OTHER PERSON IS TALKING; FOR HIS MIND IS NOT AVAILABLE FOR LISTENING. Never control others, edit, or paraphrase especially your spouse when they are talking to others. At least in front of others, let them have some freedom.

Through effective employment of silence I will avoid certain speak/speech traps
Monologue trap: We all have a pressure of thoughts bursting to come out inside our minds; we try to relieve them by talking. We are so desperate to talk that we wait to pounce on anyone like a predator hunting a prey. The mind is loaded with experiences gathered over a lifetime and waiting for an outlet. We should only unload this pressure to an interested and willing listener.
So each time you fall in the monologue trap, ensure that you don’t extend more than 3 or 5 minutes. Check to see if the other person is interested for the second installment. Violating someone’s time and energy accrues twin sins:
a) Ahimsa: Each time you call someone ask,” Is it right time to talk?” You might be free but the other person may have different things. Unloading your pressure to talk is like having a knife and stabbing someone. Talking to a person ON and ON is himsa; we must ensure that he has time and mood and energy to listen. Otherwise, it is himsa, a great sin.
b) I have no right to misappropriate someone’s time without his permission and right under his nose. This is daylight robbery. Robbing someone’s time is “asthayam”. Lots of people from outstation wish to see you. They find an escort who knows me. When we meet, the escort goes on talking without giving the guests a chance. They are helpless and I am helpless too.

Gossip trap: In a party, socializing, marriage etc where there is no constructive agenda, it breeds ideal grounds for gossip. Gossip is always juicy and tasty like Filmfare; it is Dus sangah. Avoid such places and learn to leave asap.

Argument Trap: It is a big trap and cause of spiritual downfall. When any discussion becomes an argument, learn to observe silence for they strain relations. Arguments produce heat rather than light. People caught in this mind frame tend to win their point of view by hook or crook. No one listens and each is preparing a rebuttal (like Big Fight on television). In an argument no one listens; so avoid falling into this trap.

Emotional trap: When you are emotional or someone is, it is not the occasion to talk. Emotions are disturbed states of mind; turbulent mind, and frothing with anger and frustration. It makes out to blurt one and that can cause serious damage to a relation. Take precaution not to converse with anyone when caught in whirlpool of emotions.

Use silence effectively whenever you fall into any of these four traps. This new year reduce the quantity of talk and see how your life improves.

Gita summaries - chp 11

The Vedas present “God” depending on the stage of maturity of the seeker. In the beginning there is a “personal god”, ekkah rupa eshwara or Ishta Devata Ishwara (IDI). A personal god with attributes. This is valid and helps a seeker to grow. Every person faces a lot of emotional problems in the rigour of life; a devotee can tell the Lord all his problems; he is allowed to share all his troubles as no one would be available or each one so busy in their own problems or they are terribly busy. Nobody has the time to listen but a personal god has all the time!! My relations with my Ishta Devata is an ideal relation; a God is conceptualized with human attributes. A personal god is required in the initial stages.

Then the Vedas say that one must not stop with this stage only. One’s appreciation of the Lord must improve. It must change to accommodate not only one particular form but also all the other forms including human beings, animals, trees, animate and inanimate things. When I grow to appreciate my Isha Devata as samastirupa, then my vision of the Lord is Viswa Rupa Ishwara (hereafter VRI) or Anakkah Rupah Ishwara. Ishadevata becomes viswarupa in the second stage. This will expand the mind of the devotee to totality but even this is not sufficient.   

As long as you are seeing any rupa you are within the realm of time and space because you can exist only within time and space and any form is subject to vikara or change whether it is anekarupa or ekarupa. So a seeker has to go beyond IDI and VRI which is called arupa-ishwara-darshana. So the maturity of the devotee progresses from ekarupa to anekarupa and then finally to arupa.  

In Bhagawad Gita, Ekkah Rupa Ishwara is not emphasized too much. Krishna feels that students of Gita have crossed that stage! Gita emphasizes only on the second and third stages – visvarupa and arupa Ishwara. And for these stages Krishna has prepared the ground in the seventh, eighth, and ninth chapters in which we saw Bhagawan Himself appearing as the universe. Just as gold, the material cause, expresses itself in the form of many ornaments. Just as wood expresses itself in different forms of furniture, one Ishwara becomes all. Similarly, as one God HE is expressed in all beings; both the formless (like space, vayu, mind) and formed (fire, water, earth, physical body). Baghawan expresses HIMSELF as the world. Our Sadhana is to train the mind to appreciate the Lord in every form. First learn to appreciate the Lord in an idol and temple; and then graduate to appreciate Lord in creation. We don’t see the Lord “in” creation, but the Lord is creation HIMSELF.

            To appreciate the Lord thus, we need to go through two stages. Even the appreciation of the Lord as the universe involves two stages, because we have divided the world into good and evil. Everything has got its purpose. But we have divided the world as something wonderful and ugly and something favourable and unfavourable. We may love to see a cow as God but not a mosquito or a scorpion. Therefore in the tenth chapter, we learnt to see the positive aspects of the creation of lord. That is called vibhuti yoga. In this chapter we are going to consider everything in the creation, whether you call it positive or negative and good or evil. Everything should be appreciated as the Lord, which means I must develop the maturity for everything is valid and beautiful and it has its purpose in life. If I don’t like a particular part of creation then it is not because it is defective but because of my short sightedness. I have got a wrong appreciation. In Vedanta, we call it jiva drushti. When we have got a coloured selfish eye then we look upon the creation as evil, bad or disagreeable, dangerous, crooked or useless. But once jiva drushti goes (with learning and becoming more matured) I look at creation in totality. I find that creation does not have pairs of opposites but only complementary pairs. I understand that only by being together, they can make a whole. If one of them is removed, totality is not possible. Hence everything has a place and nothing is distasteful. Example: a devotee stands in a queue in Tirupathi and he finds the line moving very slowly. A supervisor asks; what do you want? The devotee feels that the line should move faster. It immediately moves very fast and when he has the darshan; then shoves him out in 5 seconds!!! “Jarugandi”. On the other hand we have to expand our minds to think: if the queue is moving slow or fast I will enjoy moving with it. If I want to see the Lord for five minutes, I will have to accept that everyone also should have five minutes. Accept one law for others and a different law for oneself is jiva drushti. It is the cause of samsara.  There visvarupa darshana is our aim – dropping our selfishness, dropping our short-sightedness and learning to see things in totality.  

The joy of totality is of a different order and Arjuna wants to enjoy this vision and Arjuna gets this vision also. But later Arjuna realizes he is not immature to even accept the vision; one has to drop one’s individuality. Though Krishna was willing to give it for free!!! As Arjuna was not yet ready and so he says,” Thanks but withdraw the VRI”.

With this background let us enter into the eleventh chapter. Arjuna tells the Lord: bhavāpyayau hi bhūtānāṁ śrutau vistaraśo mayā tvattaḥ kamala-patrākṣa māhātmyam api cāvyayam. evam etad yathāttha tvam ātmānaṁ parameśvara draṣṭum icchāmi te rūpam aiśvaraṁ puruṣottama. Arjuna says,” I have understood that you are the material cause of the universe. You are srsti-sthiti-laya-karana. Therefore you are appearing in the form of the very vishwa, the creation. In fact there is no creation other than YOU as there is no ornament other than gold. I have clearly understood that. I have also understood that whatever glory belongs to creation, all the glories legitimately belong to you alone”. Therefore if the whole universe is “Ishwara” I should be able to see divinity everywhere; enjoy viswa rupa darshanam (VR darshanam) everywhere. But I am not able to enjoy that vishwarupa darshanam. Something must be lacking in me. Therefore Krishna please bless me to enjoy VRI. Is it possible for me?

Krishna replies,” Arjuna! Why should I withhold? I will certainly bless you with Vishwa Rupa darshanam. I will show you my viswarupa.  But you cannot appreciate it with ordinary eyes. You need a special eye, divya chakshuh, for that.” The Lord blesses Arjuna with divyachaksuh, and Sanjaya gives the description in verse-10. aneka-vaktra-nayanam anekādbhuta-darśanam aneka-divyābharaṇaṁ divyānekodyatāyudham. The viswarupa describes the Lord as having thousands of eyes, faces, legs, hands and thousands of ears. Arjuna enjoys VR darshanam. Generally, Viswa rupa is assumed as another form of the Lord that God created temporarily for Arjuna’s benefit. Such an interpretation is incorrect. The very word viswarupa means the Lord in the form of the very universe and it is already there. Whatever is in front of me is vishwam, the jagat, the prapancha. Space, Vayu are already there; The Lord’s form is in the form of the very universe. The universal form is already there. Bhagawan cannot be present at a particular ‘time’ and ‘space’. The universe only dissolves at the time of pralayam. Therefore, vishwarupa can never be taken as a particular form which appeared and disappeared. Even in the Upanishads, virat darshanam is described; sun and moon as eyes of the Lord; Vedas as mouth, earth as the feet of the Lord, 10 directions as the ears of the Lord, and Vayu the prana. The Viswa rupa form of the lord is always in front of us. ; all the time almost helplessly. So, one need not work for VR darshanam.

Then why should Arjuna ask for it and why should Krishna give a special darshan?

Even though we see the world all the time, we don’t have the attitude/reverence to the world as Bhagawan Himself. Take an idol at a temple; for a foreigner it is just a stone (granite or marble or 14th century sculpture) but for a devotee he will do namaskara and even talk to the stone. He sees divinity in that. Similarly, we see the world but we don’t have that reverence. Everything in creation must be respected and reverent; even a mosquito. We should learn to look at totality as Bhagawan where everyone is to be respected, everyone is to be revered; even a mosquito is a form of the Lord. Then we should become incapable of killing even an ant. A person becomes an embodiment of ahimsa. Therefore developing reverence towards the creation as the manifestation of the Lord needs attitudinal change; it is called divya chakshuh. It means removal of personal vision, removal of jiva drushti. The Bhakta learns to see everybody’s face as the Lord’s face.  That is “divya chakshuh” or divine eyes wherein my raga and dvesha is eliminated. Removal of R & D is to efface one individuality or private vision. Therefore learn to see every face as the face of the Lord including my own face. Respect pancha bootas as Lord and respect every aspect of creation; both animate and inanimate.

            Arjuna gets this vision and goes through three types of emotions on seeing the VR darshanam.

a) Ashcharyam (Surprise), wonderment: Ocean is a wonder; eg Nigara Falls though it is just water falling. Why? Sheer magnitude! So is Everest! In our daily life, we never get an opportunity to appreciate nature always bothered with problems of when gas cylinders will come after booking, water motor not being switched off etc. Busy and bothered with all the worries of daily life, we forget to appreciate the elements. We are leading such a fast life that there is no time to stand and stare. There is an ideology that states: most of our problems are because man has come away from nature. Learn to appreciate the beauty of blue sky; it is the neck of Shiva.

b) For Arjuna this wonderment soon gives way to fear as he sees Bhishma, Drona,- their prarabda karma is coming to an end – go into the mouth of the Lord. So kind and karunamaya Lord; how can HE be the worst cannibal and so cruel? The Lord presents this kalatattva. The whole world is governed by the time principle. Kala alone is responsible for shristi and laya. We appreciate the lord as Brahma, the shristikarta. Bhagawan says it is not sufficient if you appreciate the birth aspect of creation. If you are to have a holistic vision, you must learn to appreciate death as auspicious, wonderful ad complimentary action of the Lord. Kala has two sides – one is birth and another is death. A vishwarupa bhakti should never criticize old age and death.

            The mouth of the Lord is the kala thattvam; it swallows everything….shuthi, sthithi, and laya. Never criticize old age and death. The moment individuality comes, death is seen as a great tragedy. But from totality, death is a blessing. It is only when one generation goes, another comes into being for life is a cyclic process. vaktrāṇi te tvaramāṇā viśanti daṁṣṭrā-karālāni bhayānakāni kecid vilagnā daśanāntareṣu sandṛśyante cūrṇitair uttamāṅgaiḥ. Arjuna happens to see Kala swallow everything. All the people are rushing towards the mouth of the Lord, only difference is some are nearer and some are farther in the queue. Some have entered the mouth, some stuck between the teeth, and some people are swallowed. Arjuna loses his objectivity when he sees Lord crush and eat some people. The moment individuality comes in, death becomes bhaynkara. Imagine if death is abolished or Yamadharmaraja goes on strike. What will be the condition? The law of conservation of the universe does not allow this for everything in this world is cyclic. One generation has to go for the next generation to come. When a plant perishes it becomes a fertilizer for the next one. Death is not amangalam; rather it is auspicious as death paves the way for the next generation. Arjuna becomes sacred when he sees Bhishma and Drona are going in the mouth of Kala. He does not mind others dying but he is not able to accept the separation from Bhishma and Drona for whom he has a tremendous attachment. Therefore the wonderment gives place to fear.

            Arjuna raises a question,” Krishna! I thought of you as dayamurthi, karunasagara. You are so wonderful and so kind. But seeing this you seem to the worst cannibal. You seem to enjoy eating. You appear to be cruel. Who are you?”

            Krishna answers: śrī-bhagavān uvāca. kālo ’smi loka-kṣaya-kṛt pravṛddho lokān samāhartum iha pravṛttaḥ ṛte ’pi tvāṁ na bhaviṣyanti sarve ye ’vasthitāḥ praty-anīkeṣu yodhāḥ. Krishna says: I am the mighty world-destroying time, engaged here in annihilating all beings. Even without you, not one of all warriors arrayed here in these rival armies shall survive.” The Lord as is the Kala thattvam who is responsible for both birth and death. Learn to appreciate both of them as Ishwara mahima, learn to appreciate both day and night, birth and death, summer and winter; see everything as Ishwara Mahima. Never complain about anything.

Krishna says in verse-33: tasmāt tvam uttiṣṭha yaśo labhasva jitvā śatrūn bhuṅkṣva rājyaṁ samṛddham mayaivaite nihatāḥ pūrvam eva nimitta-mātraṁ bhava savya-sācin. “Arjuna! The parabdhakarma of all the people are over. The time has come for the death of Drona, Bhishma, Karna and all the Kauravas. Therefore, the karma itself has removed their lives. Because I am Bhagawan I cannot directly do it.” The God requires some agent through which He can get the karma fulfilled. Krishna says,” You are the nimmittamatram. You are My instrument through whom I want to get their deaths accomplished.”

This can give arise to many misconceptions. Are we only puppets in the hands of the lord? Do we not have any free will at all? Is everything predestined? Do we have no choice at all? These can lead to fatalistic conclusions which our sastras never accept. Rather the whole scripture is based on free-will and hence all the human goals are called purusharthas. The very word purusharta means “goals accomplished by free will of human beings”. In the sixth chapter Krishna says uddhared ātmanātmānaṁ nātmānam avasādayet ātmaiva hy ātmano bandhur ātmaiva ripur ātmanaḥare. “Arjuna, you are responsible for your growth. You are responsible for your destruction. Therefore take responsibility of your life. Do not blame Me. My job is only to support you when you use your free-will.” In the 9^th chapter Krishna says: I am not responsible for anyone’s bondage or anyone’s liberation; I am sama. I am impartial to all. So if this purusharta is not accepted and if we say we are instruments of the Lord, then it would lead to a lot of fallacies and problems.

If Bhagawan alone is responsible for all our actions then He is kartha and we are not kartha at all for we are only karana or instrument. Then all the karmaphalla in the form of punya-paapa will go to the Lord. Then jivas will become asamsaris and Lord the mahasamsari!!! When there is an accident the driver is punished and not the scooter. Likewise if we are just instruments then the Lord alone must suffer all the punishments.

Then the second defect will be, if Bhagawan only makes everyone do his job then why are some people noble and some people are criminals. I cannot say this is my karma because I am no more kartha and not responsible to any karma (as instruments don’t have any karma). Then we have to conclude that the Lord is partial. Wherever there is suffering; who should remove the suffering? Bhagawan alone should be the remover. If HE does not then HE is open to the charge of being cruel and sadistic. For god alone is responsible for differences.

            Then there is another defect. Suppose I do not have freewill at all and Bhagawan is going to decide everything in life, the greatest advantage will be that we will never have any conflicts in life. Conflicts arises only when there is choice. Suppose we want admission for our son or daughter; we try all over and if you get admission only in one college then there is no conflict at all. But if all the five colleges are willing to admit, which one will you choose? Conflicts come only when you have a choice. But every day we have conflicts; and this indicates the presence of freewill. Animals on the other hand do not have conflicts. Cows are herbivores; lions are carnivores. They have no say at all in their choice of food. But since we have choice, we must conclude that we have a freewill.

Finally and most importantly, if you do not have a freewill (that is everything is predestined) then we would not require dharma sastra at all. A good person is destined to be a good person because he is going to be dharmic; and if a person is destined to be adharmic; he is not going to be dharmic. Then humanity will not need dharmasastra. So nimmittamatra does not mean that everything is predestined. It means that we have a choice in the way we live our life; either according to our raga-dvesha or according to dharma-adharma.

So, what does “nimitta matram” (instrument) mean? We can always lead our lives according to our will; through our Raga and Dvesha or lead a life according to Dharma or God’s will. There is always a choice between “my personal will” and “God’s will”. When I choose to live my life as per dharma, I am fulfilling God’s will. If Arjuna decides to fight, in keeping with dharma, Arjuna is fulfilling God’s will. When one is aligned to God’s will, then he becomes an instrument of the Lord. Even though you might not like to follow God’s will –like killing Bhishma and Drona - it is always better to go by God’s Ichcha. God’s will is called dharma and my will is called raga-dvesha. If my raga-dvesha is in keeping with dharma, I fulfill it. If R-D are against dharma then I should learn to vote for dharma.

Suppose you love getting up at 8 in the morning whereas Dharma says that you must wake up before sun rise; then learn to follow that by sleeping in early in the night. But if you naturally get up 5 in the evening then continue following your will!!! Then your R-D and dharma there is no conflict. But if there is a conflict between your R-D and dharma then go according to God’s will. That is called nimmittamatra.

The first emotion of Arjuna on seeing VR darshanam was wonder and next fear. The last emotion is “saranagati”. Krishna tells Arjuna,” You have to accept totality, which means you have to accept the Lord as kalathatvam. That means you have to learn to accept birth and death, growth and decay.”

Arjuna assimilates the idea a little and responds with devotion. Arjuna does namaskara to the Lord. namaḥ purastād atha pṛṣṭhatas te namo ’stu te sarvata eva sarva ananta-vīryāmita-vikramas tvaṁ sarvaṁ samāpnoṣi tato ’si sarvaḥ. Salutations unto thee, the all-formed, from before and from behind and from all directions! Infinite in puissance and limitless in might, thou pervades everything and thou art verily the all.

Even if you see the Lord in the form of Yama; have reverence for HE is only doing God’s job. Arjuna finds the fear of death overwhelming – he can accept the deaths of everybody else except Bhishma and Drona. Fear of death can never be conquered as long as there is attachment to the body or to any body. (Body is common!!!). Arjuna does namaskara after having gone through these three emotions – surprise, fear and surrender.

Though Arjuna finds the vishwarupa darshanam wonderful , he pleads with the lord to remove the VR darshanam. adṛṣṭa-pūrvaṁ hṛṣito ’smi dṛṣṭvā bhayena ca pravyathitaṁ mano me tad eva me darśaya deva rūpaṁ prasīda deveśa jagan-nivāsa. Seeing this form unseen before, I am overjoyed but my mind is also perturbed with fear. Reveal to me the other familiar form of thine and be gracious unto me O thou god of all gods, and dwelling spirit of the worlds.

Then Krishna says,” I will withdraw the divya chakshuh.” By removal of divya chakshuh the objectivity is gone. Krishna says,” You had the unique vision of vishwarupa only because of your devotion. Even though you were immature, being a bundle of raga-dvesha, I showed you my Vishwa rupa form by setting aside your R-D temporarily.”

Then he concludes bhaktyā tv ananyayā śakya aham evaṁ-vidho ’rjuna jñātuṁ draṣṭuṁ ca tattvena praveṣṭuṁ ca paran-tapa. Continue in bhakti and grow in bhakti and then you will graduate to Arupa Ishwara darshanam. Then there is no sense of separation from the Lord for I am never away from the Lord. Therefore Arjuna! Continue to remain a bhakta.

Using bhakti as a tool, convert all your actions with God as the goal; pursue dharma, artha and kama; be subservient to the Lord. You will attain Him soon. With the glorification of bhakti the eleventh chapter is complete.