New Year: 2002 – How to handle sorrow?

A Sanskrit verse says, “May I enjoy happiness all the time, May I not face unhappiness at any time.” These two desires – seeking happiness and avoiding unhappiness – are basic and universal and are common to all human beings.

            How can we fulfill these desires? The verse itself provides the answer – through jnanam or knowledge. This may come as a surprise to us because we are unlikely to think that knowledge is the method to gain happiness and avoid sorrow. To add to our surprise, the verse further says that these two desires can be fulfilled only through jnanam.

            What is the knowledge gaining by which we can be happy all the time? First we must understand clearly what is happiness and unhappiness. Happiness can be defined as going through any experience that we would like to go through. In other words a wanted experience is happiness. Sorrow is going through experience you want to avoid in life; an unwanted experience.

            It follows that all pleasant experiences are wanted experiences since we want to go through them and therefore happiness. All unwanted or unpleasant or painful experiences are those we wish to avoid and therefore sorrow. Or so we think. Let us pause and analyze a little. Can there be a painful experience that we would like to go through? If we think a little, we will find that there are innumerable examples to show that people love to go through painful experiences and it is happiness for them. Take for instance, mountain climbing. Can there be anything more painful than wearing layers of clothing, carrying a heavy oxygen cylinder and other equipment and trudging through miles of snow in freezing weather for days and living on canned food? Ask any mountaineer and he will tell you that there cannot be a better definition of happiness. Mountain climbers are not content with scaling small hillocks. They seek to conquer the tallest of the mountains. Setting foot on the Everest is a mountaineer’s dream. Not only the tallest they aspire to scale the toughest peaks. Mountain climbing is full of pain and tension. It is highly risky. Human error like a misstep or an avalanche can cause death to the mountaineer. Notwithstanding all the hardships, pitfalls, and risks, mountaineers enjoy the suffering. It is a wanted experience and so becomes happiness.

            Motherhood is a painful experience involving discomfort during pregnancy, intense pain in the form of delivery and numerous hardships in bringing up a child. Yet most women want to become wives and mothers because it is a wanted experience. Similarly men want to become husbands and fathers whatever be the hassles involved. Thus an experience that we want to go through, even if it be painful, comes under the category of happiness.

            Similarly an experience that we do not wish to go through, be it pleasant or painful, is sorrow. The question arises – Can there be a pleasant experience that we wish to avoid? A householder facing financial difficulties had to sell his car and other possessions. His affluent father-in-law offers to help but the householder refused. The situation gets worse, the father-in-law persists and after a lot of persuasion, the help is taken. The householder regains all the comforts including his car. This is a pleasant experience as he has got back all this once pledged possessions. But he is unhappy as he feels it is improper to accept help from in-laws.

            Therefore in our lives, we are all the time struggling to get wanted experiences (pleasant or painful) and avoid unwanted experiences (pleasant or painful). In spite of all our struggles using effort and even taking recourse to astrology, palmistry, vaastu; we miserably fail. Even though we put in our best efforts, many unwanted experiences impinge upon us and however hard we try, wanted experiences continue to elude us.

            When we are so frustrated and ready to throw up our hands in despair, the scriptures come to our rescue. The scriptures ask us to do some introspection. We must first realize that we are not in a position to control our experiences because they depend on many factors over which we have little or no control. The scriptures pose a question to us – who has classified the experiences we undergo as wanted or unwanted? Does this classification come along with the experience or is it our classification? The truth is only the experience comes – labeling it as wanted or unwanted is purely our creation and therefore within our control. So the scriptures advise us: the experience we face may not be under our control; so why can’t we better handle which is entirely within our control. All our miseries would vanish if we avoid wanted-unwanted classification!

            How can we better handle the wanted-unwanted classification? This is an extremely important issue since this classification that decides whether we are happy or unhappy. Again the scriptures come to our rescue. When we look at the universe, we will definitely note one aspect if we are intelligent. The entire universe is an orderly and harmonious creation meaning everything happens perfectly according to universal laws. Nothing is odd or chaotic. Even a giant meteor crashing into earth and leaving a huge crater is part of this universal order. Everything in this universe, from the smallest microbe to the gigantic sun, has its role to play to make this marvelous creation.

            Consider the most experience of childbirth. When the baby is in the mother’s womb, it gets exactly the food it needs from the mother through a beautiful, naturally well-designed connection called the umbilical cord. After the baby emerges from the mother’s womb, the umbilical cord is snapped. The baby has delicate health to regular food, food that adults consume. At that time the mother secretes milk – at the right time and right temperature containing the right nutrition and all the antibodies the baby needs to fight the diseases. It is a biochemical marvel and this happens naturally without human intervention.

            Once we realize this truth and recognize that the entire universe is orderly and well-designed by an omniscient and omnipotent Lord, we have to extend this understanding a little further. All experiences of all people at all times are an integral part of the universe. There are no exceptions. After a good spell of rain, we may be walking down the road when a passing vehicle going over a puddle of water may splash water over us making our clothes wet and dirty. No experiences, not even the unpleasant experience of a splash is redundant because it is part of wonderfully designed universe. Every experience in the world is perfectly in order. If we consider and classify any experience as redundant or unwanted, then it only shows our emotional immaturity and intellectual arrogance. With our puny intellects we are challenging the omnipotence and omniscience of the Lord by questioning the validity and necessity of an experience.

            Once we are established in the knowledge of the orderliness of the creation, we should take a vow: ‘I will never classify any experience as unwanted. I will remove the ‘unwanted’ label from my mind and dictionary. I will consider every experience as a wanted experience especially designed by the Lord for me just like mother’s milk designed by me when I was an infant. It is the same Lord who takes care of my growth.” Every experience that we go through is a wanted experience designed by the universal mother called God. It is needed for our spiritual nourishment and growth. When a child is born, the father has to take the child to the mother and request her to feed the baby. When the mother gives milk; the father chants a prayer (Brihadaranyaka Upanishad): O Lord, you are the universal mother, Saraswati. Feed and nourish the spiritual personality of the child through the milk of experiences. Let the child learn through every experience without labeling it as wanted or unwanted. Let the child grow with your blessings.” When the child grows up it must learn to appreciate every experience as coming from the Lord for its spiritual growth and dished out by the mother, Saraswati. During Sandhya Vandanam, we chant a mantra that says,” O Lord, you are the universal mother. Just as my mother nourished me with the appropriate food at the appropriate time, you should also nourish me through the food of experience.”

            With this understanding, we will learn not to label painful experiences as unwanted, we will instead start to appreciate them as a spiritual sadhana. Krishna says in the Bhagavad Gita (13.8) that we have to necessarily go through ‘old age, sickness, and pain’. These are not unwanted experiences. Brihadaranyaka Upanishad devotes an entire section of a chapter (5.11) encouraging us to look upon diseases as sadhana or tapas (meaning a wanted experience). When we go through a wanted experience, what is the state of our mind? It is happiness only. There is immediate acceptance.

            Fasting (on ekadasi) and remaining without sleep (on Sivaratri) are wanted experience that we are happy to undergo. Sometimes we may find ourselves without food (as in a train journey caught in a flood) or unable to get sleep (from a noisy neighbor). How do we react? If we are not spiritually evolved, we will label these experiences as unwanted and plunge into sorrow. The situation is the same – whether lack of food on a train or fasting on ekadasi or lack of sleep during Mahasivaratri or noisy neighbor – but our attitudes differ. We label one as wanted and so be happy; another as unwanted and remain sad. The difference is just perspective. But if we are spiritual seekers, we will consider every experience as a wanted experience. And no experience will upset our tranquility. The benefit is there are no regrets, no resistance, or frustration. So change your perspective to any experience and be happy all the time is the message of our scriptures.

            Once we accept every experience as wanted for our growth, we will be contented and our attitude towards the Lord will improve. We will never crib when a painful situation visits us and cry,” Lord, do you have eyes?” and begin to curse God. Instead to remain humble and thankful and grateful to the Lord for the experiences HE provides us for the moment. There is an unmistakable faith that HE is our benefactor and will never wish us ill-evil. Such an attitude will help us grow.

            Therefore on this New Year’s Day let us pray: “O Lord, I am thankful to you. Let any experience come. It is wanted and therefore I welcome it whole heartedly.” This is the jnanam required for a happy life as well as spiritual growth. 

New Year: 2001 – Worry n Work

We all have problems. Rare is the person who can claim to be ‘problem-free’. Our problems may pertain to health, wealth, career, family relationships etc. They could either be short term in nature or one that has defied a solution for a long time. There is one problem that can be considered a universal problem, i.e. it affects one and all. And that is WORRY. It is bad enough to have problems. But we make a bad situation worse by worrying over our problems thus creating another problem (worry), the biggest problem of all.

            Worrying is perpetual since problems seem to come in a steady stream, one after another. If our life is progressing smoothly without worry problems, we may wonder how it is possible. Will our good fortune end? This in itself becomes a source of worry! Sadly even not having a worry we get worried that there is nothing to worry. Thus worrying is universal and perpetual.

            Worrying is a big problem and an obstacle to solving other problems. Worrying is our number one enemy. First and foremost we have to tackle this enemy before we turn our attention to other problems. We must consider the seriousness of the problem. Worrying is dangerous and detrimental to our health and well-being. In the extreme case, continuous and chronic worrying can lead to psychosomatic disorders.

            What is the nature and anatomy of worry? Worry occurs in four stages: occupation, victimization, immobilization, and dissipation.

a)      Occupation: Worry must have a topic or a subject. This could be family, finance, friends etc. The subject matter of worry occupies our mind whenever it wants to rather than our deciding to ponder over the issue. Thus the problem encroaches our mind at its convenience.

Once the problem has decided to occupy the mind in its time, we have lost the battle. Even in the first stage we are defeated. Since the problem has chosen to enter our mind without our permission, who is the master of the mind? The scriptures refer to the mind has antakarana meaning inside instrument. We have to use the mind as per our will. But if we are not able to do so, we have lost control of our mind and the consequence is “loss of freedom.”

b)      Victimization: Once the problem enters our mind, it decides how long to remain the duration of occupation. The problem evolves and churns the mind producing unhealthy emotions such as fear, bitterness, self-pity, frustration, anger etc and victimizes us in the process. First it destroys our mental health. Then it destroys our physical health. Thus victimization results is “loss of health.”

c)      Immobilization: Once worry and unhealthy emotions occupy the mind, our intellectual resources and capacity to solve the problem get immobilized. The intellect cannot think when negative emotions occupy the mind. We may be an expert in Vedanta but the knowledge is not available to us. Since the intellect is not able to function, we cannot think of possible solutions to the problems. Thus immobilization leads to “loss of solution.”

d)     Dissipation: Since our intellect is no longer available to us, not only are we not able to think of a solution to the problem facing us, we are also not able to do any constructive work that requires deliberate thinking and mastery over the mind and intellect. Consequently our lives become mechanical. This is living in absentia! We are living but we may just as well be not there. We don’t cognize the present instead brood over the past. The future is unborn and the past is dead and the present is the gift from the Lord. Worrying makes a person to lose this gift and life gets dissipated. In the extreme case life itself is destroyed. Thus there is “loss of life.”

Unfortunately we do not take worrying seriously at all. Further we accept worrying as a necessary part of our lives, nay even a duty. Often worrying is mistaken for concern. The society may even consider a worrying person – about his children’s future or about his job or illnesses in the family – as a sign of a responsible person. A Sanskrit verse talks about two types of fires: cita (funeral fire) and cinta (the fire of worry) and poses a question – which is more potent? The verse replies that worry fire is more powerful than a funeral fire, for it only burns a dead body, while worry consumes a living body.

            We may ask the question – if we should not worry over the problem, does it mean we should suffer? The shastras says we need not suffer. We must work on the problem and not worry over it. Worrying alone is condemned. Working over the problem is something every responsible person should do.

            What is the difference between worrying over a problem and working on it? If we have a clear understanding of the process of working on a problem, we can ascertain whether we are worrying or working. Like worry, working also comprises four stages: decision, crystallization, exploration, and preparation.

1)      Decision: We decide when to think over a problem (unlike worrying where the problem decides). We choose the time and also the duration. The problem cannot gatecrash our mind without our approval. We put a board,’ No Admission Without Permission.”

2)      Crystallization: We condense and crystallize the problem into a few important points. It is not a meandering thinking leading to emotional disturbance. The intellect or the rational faculty is in command.

3)      Exploration: We think of various solutions to the problem. This is solution oriented thinking as opposed to worrying which is problem-oriented thinking. We will know the difference between worrying and working if we study our way of thinking. If we find it difficult to go through the stages of crystallization and exploration, it means we are worrying. We are being victimized by the problem.

4)      Preparation: When we go through the stage of exploration; we will be able to identify many alternatives or solutions to the problem. We have to choose one alternative and plan its implementation. Hopefully our implementation will succeed in solving the problem.

Sometimes the implementation of our strategy may not solve the problem. In such a case we must not lose hope but try again. We go through the four stages again and, until the problem is solved we summon our inner strength and peace of mind to face the problem.

            At times a problem becomes insolvable as in the case of a medical problem where the doctor says – You have to live with it. This is a choiceless situation. In such a case, preparation is strengthening the mind by wisdom, understanding and prayer to rise above the problem. We grow to such an extent that the problem appears insignificant. We may wonder whether this is possible. The lives of great people are a big inspiration. Many handicapped people went on to become great achievers. They did not seek sympathy or brood instead kept achieving great heights as to inspire others.

            Thus even if we are not able to solve our problems, we can live a happy, contented and constructive life. On this New Year’s Day, let us seek the grace of the Lord so that we no longer worry over our problems. Let us pray to the Lord to give us strength and wisdom to solve those problems that are solvable and accept and rise above those that are not solvable. 

New Year: 2000 – 10 commandments

Sadhaks or spiritual seekers attend lectures, read books, and use other means such as participation in study groups to acquire spiritual knowledge. After some time, a stage is reached when many aspirants feel they have studied a lot and have a reasonably good understanding of the scriptures but are not able to implement the knowledge gained. They have the “theory” but are unable to put it to “practice”. Sadhaks who face this problem can take up the following programme. Even others who do not have this problem can use this programme to reinforce the scriptural teaching.

            This programme is a one-year project that can be renewed every year. The programme can be practiced as it is or modified to suit the needs or convenience of the individual. Since the project consists of 12 components with each component taking a month, the New Year is a good time to start this programme. This programme is essentially the practice of “ten commandments” of Hinduism – fivefold abstention (called ‘yama’) and fivefold discipline (‘niyama’). These are the do’s and don’ts of Hinduism.

            The programme is presented in two parts. First, the yamas (don’ts) and niyamas (do’s) are defined and explained from the standpoint of practicing them. Of the two groups, our scriptures consider yamas to be more important than the niyamas and so the former is discussed first. Secondly, a method of implementation of the yamas and niyamas is presented.

            The five yamas are ahimsa, satyam, asteyam, brahmacharyam, and aparigraha.

1)      Ahimsa (non-violence) is the avoidance of violence and injury. Ahimsa has several aspects. The grossest form of Himsa is physical violence. Physical violence is not confined to beating people but includes actions such as throwing or banging things. When we begin practice on this programme, we must first pay attention to physical violence. If we feel we are already free from the weakness, we can concentrate on verbal violence – shouting or using abusive or indecent language.

2)      Satyam (truthfulness) is primarily a verbal discipline. We maintain harmony between knowledge, motives, and words. Our words must not hide our knowledge or motives. There must be harmony between thought and word. Satyam is a positive attribute and yet it is listed as a yama. So we have to redefine satyam as something to be given; that is the avoidance of a satyam. We must emphasize more on eschewing a satyam, by not telling lies or speaking untruths.

3)      Asteyam (non-stealing) literally means non-stealing. We may wonder whether this value is required for us because we are not thieves. Steyam is not just breaking into a house and stealing. Any unfair transaction through which we derive some benefit is steyam. Not paying a person his due is a form of stealing because we keep what legitimately belongs to another person.

4)      Brahmacharyam (chastity) means having the right attitude towards members of the opposite sex. Men must have a decent and appropriate attitude towards women and similarly women must have a decent and appropriate attitude towards men. Like satyam, brahmacharyam is a positive characteristic and yet finds a place among the yamas. So we must understand brahmacharyam as giving up all indecent and inappropriate attitudes towards the opposite sex.

5)      Aparigraha (non-possessiveness) is the fifth yama. Parigrapha means possession. Aparigraha is literally non-possession and must be understood as leading a simple life. There are two aspects to aparigraha – owning less and having the right attitude towards what little we own. We give up luxury, pomp, and show. We draw a line and limit our possessions to what is necessary. A simple living is suitable for high thinking.

We should not develop possessiveness towards the limited possessions we have. This is even more important than owning less. We should remind ourselves that what we have belongs to the Lord and is given to us temporarily for us to grow. We use our possessions with gratitude to the Lord who claim them at any time giving advance notice or not.

The five niyamas are saucham, santosha, tapas, swadhyaya, and Ishwara pranidhanam.

6)      Sacuham (purity) means cleanliness or purity. We must first focus on gross or physical purity and later concentrate on subtle or inner purity. Saucham can be understood as keeping ourselves and everything around us clean. This includes our body, clothes, possessions and house. Saucham is not only cleanliness but also orderliness. Our house may be very clean but due to disorderliness we may have to search for anything and everything. A good maxim to follow is ‘a place for everything and everything in its place.’

7)      Santosha (contentment) means contentment or satisfaction. Santosha has to be developed at two levels because life is twofold pursuit – earning and owning. Initially we aspire to earn a lot of wealth and also own many possessions. The first stage of contentment is at the level of owning. We are satisfied with our possessions and stop earning for more. Earning continues but spending decreases. Such a person produces more, consumes less and creates wealth for the community, society and nation and is called a karma yogi.

The second stage of contentment focuses on earning. We stop craving for more and more. Such a person is jnana yogi. Contentment at both levels of earning and owning is called santosha or trupti and should be practiced as a niyama meaning with a positive attitude. We think of what we have rather than what we do not have and give up beggarliness of the mind. We tell our mind that we have plenty. This is the principle of abundance.

A contented person will readily share his wealth with others. Without santosha, dhanam (charity) cannot take place. Contentment is a prerequisite for a charitable disposition.

8)      Tapas (austerity) means austerity and like ahimsa and santosha has many dimensions. The grossest form of tapas pertains to physical activity. Activity is important not only from the religious and spiritual angle but also from the aspect of health. In the olden days the very lifestyle ensured that people were physically fit. Today we can consider some form of exercise. An ideal exercise is the surya namaskar. It is common to hear people say that they do not have time for exercise. Those who cannot spare a few minutes a day for maintaining their health today may have to spend many months later for recovering (lost) health due to sickness.

9)      Swadhyaya (spiritual study) is the study of our scriptures and is a very important commandment. Many years ago swadhyaya was done by every person. It was a daily ritual known as Brahma yagna. Today people do not give much importance to spiritual study. May think it is for intellectuals and those who want to take to monastic life. At the minimum we must study a few verses of the Bhagavad Gita everyday and reflect upon the teaching.

10)   Ishwara Pranidhanam (surrender to God) is looking upon every experience in our lives, favourable or unfavourable, as God’s will because every experience we undergo is the result of our past actions. This is called karma phallam and can be pleasure or pain. Behind every karma phallam is the law of karma and behind the law of karma is the Lord. The Lord is invisible, the law of karma is invisible but when the Lord and the law of karma function, the result is a tangible experience. So we accept every experience without resistance. And the mind is free of negative emotions and thoughts. This acceptance is called Ishwara Pranidhanam or sarangati. An inability or unwillingness to do so will produce unhealthy thoughts in the mind and lead to bitterness, anger, frustration, hatred, etc.

The ten yamas and niyamas should be practiced by all the sadhaks. We have no choice in the matter. Without these attributes, the study of Vedanta will neither be meaningful nor beneficial.

            How can a sadhak practice the ten commandments? Aspirants may consider the following method of implementation that is designed as a one-year project. Every month we should focus on one commandment beginning with the first and proceed in order. Each commandment is important and should be given attention. Practicing the yamas and niyamas can be made effective by following a five-fold strategy: sankalpa, avadhanam, samyama, simha-avalokanam, and vicara.

1)      Sankalpa (resolve) means making a resolve every day. We begin the day with a resolve that we will practice the commandment chosen for the month. During the “ahimsa” month; we will resolve firmly: Today I will practice ahimsa. I will not shout at my family members, subordinates etc. We must maintain a notebook and soon after getting up we must write,’ I will practice ahimsa today’ 24 times. We should write with a full heart, sincerity, and commitment.

2)      Avadhanam (precaution) is especially important. The scriptures say that for a spiritual seeker, negligence is destruction. Many railway accidents occur due to negligence of simple precautionary measures. Precaution is within our capacity. We must be alert and avoid the contributory factors that make us violate the commandment. This applies even to our health. Maintaining health requires adherence to a few simple rules neglecting which we may have to face the consequences for a life time.

3)      Samyama (restraint) comes into play when avadhanam fails. Violations (of the commandments) will occur, especially in the initial stages and we display the negative behavior we have been trying to avoid. The moment we realize we are using abusive language, we must strive to control ourselves. We practice restraint before the situation gets out of hand.

4)      Simha-avalokanam (introspection) is the fourth strategy and should be done every day. At the end of the day, we look at our behaviours and determine to what extent we fulfilled our resolve to follow the chosen commandment. For every violation we must take out our notebook and write,’ on sri gurubhyo namah’ 24 times. There are three benefits in doing so. First, it serves as a prayaschitham or repentance for violating the commandment. Secondly, we invoke the grace of the guru. Guru includes god because HE is the adiguru; the first guru is Bhagavan. Thirdly, by the grace of the guru, the circumstances or occasions that make us violate the commandment will become lesser and lesser.

Also there will be a change in our attitude. Presently we are likely to think that our violations are necessary and dictated by the circumstances. We consider them a necessary evil. But as we progress, by the grace of the guru, we will find that we do not violate the commandments even in situations where we once thought it was necessary. Thus by the grace of guru the number of occasions that are likely to provoke us becomes lesser and lesser. We no longer violate as before thus making real progress.

The above four strategies should be practiced every day.

5)      Vicara (study) is a powerful and the most important strategy and this involves the study of the significance of each of the commandments. It is seeing the ‘value of a value’. Each month we must focus on the commandment chosen for the month. During the “ahimsa” month we must collect as much information as possible on this commandment and study the literature for at least an hour a week and try to understand its significance. Why is moksha not possible without giving up himsa? Why do we resort to violence-physical or verbal? What precautionary measures can we take to avoid himsa? Our analysis will reveal that our violent behavior is always preceded by anger. We can further analyze, why do we get angry? Is it because of certain people? How can we change our behavior (rather than expect others to change theirs) to avoid or minimize getting provoked?

Vichara can be done individually or collectively by forming and participating in study groups. Study groups meet periodically and members of the group get an opportunity to share with the other members as to how they are handling the commandments in their daily life. There can be discussions and healthy exchange of ideas that is beneficial to all the group members. Study groups inculcate seriousness and a sense of commitment towards practicing the commandment. Participation in study groups is highly efficacious and strongly recommended.

Vicara will reveal that each commandment has a gross aspect and a subtle aspect or many other dimensions. In the first year, sadhaks can focus on the grossest aspect of each commandment and in subsequent years turn their attention to the subtler aspects.

Since the ten commandments consume ten months, the question arises: what should a sadhak do during the remaining two months of the year? In the eleventh month, the aspirant must strive to give up one bad habit – be it smoking or losing one’s temper. Again, we can start from gross, physical habits and proceed to subtle weaknesses. In the last month of the year, the sadhak must cultivate one good habit that the aspirant would like to have. If we have the habit of criticizing others, we may want to develop the practice of giving praise where it is due. In case we have a doubt regarding what habits or attributes to focus on the last two months of the programme, we can study the sixteenth chapter of the Bhagavad Gita wherein Krishna discusses demoniacal traits (called asuri sampath) or negative qualities and divine traits (daivi sampath) or positive attributes.

I wish you a happy new year and a year where you practice these ten commandments and become a better person.  

New Year: 1999 – What gives happiness?

What is the goal of life? All human beings without exception seek only one primary goal and that is sukham or happiness. The main problem we face is we do not know what exactly gives us happiness. We assume certain things will give us happiness but when we analyze our experiences we find that it is not so. The general misconception is money and possessions will give us happiness. But if he analyze further the premise: money is the cause and happiness is the effect, we find that it is not logical. If there is a causal relation, they should fulfill two conditions called anvaya and vyatireka. Anvaya means in the presence of the cause, the result should take place and vyatireka means that in its absence, the result will not occur. If seed is the cause, the tree may be considered the effect. In the presence of the seed, the tree can manifest; in its absence there can be no tree. We use this logic to find the cause of allergies in the body. If a thing causes a reaction and if in its absence there is no reaction, we conclude that that thing is the cause of the reaction. If we apply this logic to money/possessions and happiness, we find that the cause and effect relationship is not established because anvaya and vyatireka are not fulfilled.

            What do we see around us? Many people have money and possessions but are not happy. Money and possessions are a source of comfort but never a source of happiness. Comfort is a physical condition while happiness is a mental condition. Providing comfort is not providing happiness. If comfort and happiness are synonymous, hundreds of years ago when science was not advanced, our ancestors should have been miserable and today with the availability of a wide range of products for comfort people should be happy. But that is not so. Many people are comfortably unhappy! They have air-conditioned worries. Many others do not have money or possessions but they are happy. In the shastras we can find many references to enlightened people who were happy without anything. From this it is clear that money and possessions are not the cause of happiness.

            What then is the cause of happiness? The human being has not been able to find an answer. In fact this is our problem. We keep on experimenting: we change jobs, houses, cities in the fond hope that the new situation will bring in happiness. But that rarely gives elation for the mind. Since we are not able to find happiness from our experiences, it is better to go to the shastras. The shastras alone can help us to know what will make us happy.

            What does the shastras say? The shastras says there is only one thing that is the cause of happiness and that is punyam. Between punyam and happiness alone there is a cause and effect relationship. Punyam alone is the cause of happiness. If punyam is not there, even if money is there, there can be no happiness and money becomes a cause for sorrow. On the other hand, when punyam is there, even if money is absent, there is joy. So to produce happiness, me must work towards it cause and accumulate punyam.

            How to produce punyam? Punyam can be generated only leading a dharmic way of life. Only dharma produces punyam, which in turn makes an individual happy with or without comforts.

            What is dharmic life? The entire shastra expounds on this subject. The Vedas discuss them elaborately. The essence of dharmic life can be classified into noble actions and noble values.

            What are noble actions? Sage Vyasa defines noble actions as those that are beneficial to others (may or may not include oneself). Any actions that directly or indirectly harm others come under the category of papa. So dharmic life consists of actions that are beneficial to others and the avoidance of actions that are harmful to others.

            What are noble values? This topic is elaborately dwelt in the Bhagawad Gita, Puranas, and Vedas. Lord Krishna says that if we want to avoid suffering and enjoy happiness, we must take care of three instinctive or natural weaknesses. These are not acquired but are universal for every human being is afflicted by it. If we learn to manage these three, we will live a life of values. What are the three weaknesses? Kama, Krodha, and Lobha (desire, anger, and greed).

            What is Kama management? Kama management is taking care of three conditions with regard to all our desires. The three conditions are: First, all our desires must be legitimate. Parents wish their children to be well educated and settled. Such a desire is not illegitimate. Secondly, our desires must be moderate. If we have an inordinate number of desires, we will have to spend the entire life time in the fulfillment of these desires. There will no time for religion or scriptural study, very little time for spiritual development. Hence moderation is recommended for a healthy religious side. Thirdly, all our desires must be converted to nonbinding desires. This means converting needs to preferences. A need means without its fulfillment, we will be miserable. A preference means we accept both; its fulfillment or non-fulfillment. This is detoxification of kama – taking the toxin or poison out of kama. Kama management is accomplished by santhosa or contentment.

            What is Krodha management? Anger creates problem in two ways. First, it comes out as a violent expression that is harmful to others. It will lead to himsa or violence. According to shastras, himsa is mahapapa (great sin). Secondly, if we swallow the anger and avoid violent action, it is equally dangerous because it gets suppressed. Suppressed anger will create problems including physical problems like psychosomatic disorders. If anger is expressed, it is harmful; and if it is suppressed it is equally harmful. Then what is the way out? We have to train ourselves in non-violent expression of anger. We must express anger without hurting others. Hurting others is allowed only as a last resort. We can write a letter and then destroy it. We can go to the beach and shout. These are all non-violent expressions of anger and they work effectively. Sometimes we read in the newspapers that some members of a political party burn the effigy of a politician belonging to another political party in protest of some policy. This is nonviolent expression of anger. Krodha management is attained by kshama or patience.

            What is lobha management? Lobha is the notion of ownership and is associated with miserliness, stinginess, petty mindedness etc. Lobha management is learning to share whatever we have – be it time, knowledge, or money – with somebody who is in distress. We do not own anything we think we own. This includes our own body. Everything is a temporary gift given by the Lord to use for some time. The Lord can take back anything HE wants at any time. We must develop the idea of trusteeship. We are in reality the trustee of what we think we own. Lobha management is achieved by dhana or generosity.

            So how should we proceed? Let us learn to manage Kama, Krodha, and Lobha. Let all our actions be noble. Kama management, krodha management and lobha management (noble values) along with noble actions is a dharmic life. A dharmic life will produce punyam and in turn produce sukham or happiness. 

New Year: 1998 – 3 disciplines of life

One of the verses of vairagya satakam says that the sun rises and sets regularly and by its rising and setting, the days are rolling by. This is happening so regularly and so fast that we are not aware that time is passing; we are becoming older and our lives shorter. We are not aware of this because we are so busy doing what we do. New year’s day means yet another year has come, yet another year has gone. And yama is a little nearer. Our names may not appear in today’s obituary column but we are all in the queue only.

            To avoid this tragedy, Bharthruhari gives an updesam (advice) – do not postpone good things for a later time. We have a notion that scriptural study is to be undertaken at the time of retirement, after completing all other jobs. Bharthruhari says our faculties will not function at that time- the eyes will not see and the ears will not hear. When the sense organs are functioning well, when the fag end of life has not yet come, an alert person, a thinking person, a mature person should think of leading a healthy, prosperous and fruitful life. When the house is on fire, it is foolish to begin digging a well. So also at the fag end of life, it is foolish to begin doing good things. We must start right away. If we want a suitable day to begin, the New year’s day is very auspicious.

            What should we do to make our lives fruitful? The scriptures emphasize three things: yajna, danam, and tapas. In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna emphasizes these three to a great extent.

            Yajna: It means worship. We all know worship in the form of daily puja, going to temples, doing abhisheka etc. Lord Krishna talks about a higher, refined form of worship – converting life itself into worship. “Let the very living, the life be an offering to the Lord.” Swami Chinmayananda used to make a wonderful statement,” The life that we have is a wonderful gift from the Lord and what we do with this life is our gift, our offering to the Lord.” If we are going to look upon our life as a gift of the Lord, what type of life should it be? It should be the best. And when it is offered, it must be offered with a cheerful and smiling face. There must be cheerfulness. Thus two conditions must be fulfilled – the gift should be the best, and it must be offered with cheerfulness and happiness.

            Our life should be the best. What does it mean? It does not mean earning money, success, name, and fame. It means the most sincere life. We should be able to do what we love to do and we should learn to love what we have to do. If this is possible, our heart will be in what we do and so will our sincerity. This will be the best gift to the Lord.

            Predominantly there must be cheerfulness. We may wonder whether it is possible in today’s troubled times. By being cynical or cheerful, the situation is not going to change. So why not be cheerful? When the cup is half-full, we can either say it is half-full or half-empty. So why not say it is half-full? Why cannot we have a positive approach? Enjoying what we love to do and learning to love and enjoy what we have to do is the best yajna to the Lord.

            Dhanam: It is charity or gift which we do for others. However of all the gifts, there is one gift which is very, very important. That is the gift of love. This is the most important gift because it is one thing everybody is craving for. Rich or poor, success or failure, love is craved for by all people at all times under all circumstances. It is the best gift because even if other gifts are not made, it does not matter. On the other hand, without love, all other gifts remain incomplete, Love makes all other gifts valid and meaningful. It makes the giver a saintly person.

            Love is both the cause and consequence of spiritual growth. We may claim “I love my family and children.” Love is only an inner feeling, attitude. Love is invisible. Love belongs to the mind. So when we talk of love, we mean expressed love. The best expression of love is giving our time and attention to the other person, to share his life and more; their feelings. Of course, if we give our time to everyone, we will not have the time and it will be impractical. So the best place to practice the gift of “expressed love” is one’s own family. We can definitely spare time by giving our full attention to every member of the family. We can share their happiness and unhappiness without judging whether it is justified or not. We need to give a remedy or talk to reply except say a few comforting words for a healthy sharing and connection. At least once a day we should make ourselves available to our family members. This is the best expression of love and also the cause of our inner growth. If we are not able to grow in this, all our dhanam is only mechanical. Even our scriptural studies will not be meaningful. Giving time to others is one of the indices of spiritual growth.

            Today many people who have family problems have only one complaint – family members do not provide time for one another. Many people are shattered even though they are well provided for. All that is required is to say a few words and ask the other person “How are you?” “How was your day?” and this requires only a few moments. Then the atmosphere in the family becomes so wonderful that all other lapses are not even noticed. Today when many families are nuclear families, the gift of giving quality time and to respect other’s feelings is the best dhanam.

            Tapas – it is the discipline of austerity. There are a variety of disciplines we follow like fasting on ekadasi. The most important tapas is vak tapas – austerity or discipline at the verbal level. In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna defines vaktaps. Our words should have four qualities to make it an austerity – avoiding verbal violence, satyam, priyam, and hitam. We must avoid verbal violence which is the most powerful and worst form of violence. The words must be truthful, satyam. There should not be chasm between our mind and words. When we say something, it is because we mean it. Priyam means kindness. Our words must be soft, polite, and gentle. Hitam means beneficial. Before uttering any words we should think of two things – whether it is beneficial to us (which we will do any way) and whether it is beneficial to the other person. Vak tapas requires that we remain very alert. Before coming out of the mouth, the words must go through a metal detector inside us that acts like a quality control meter filtering the words and giving the stamp of quality.

            Thus by following the three disciplines of yajna, dhanam, and tapas we can make our life fruitful. 

New Year: 1997 – How to pray?

That India celebrates many New years (Tamil New Year, Ugadi etc) itself indicates that New Year is a relative and not an absolute concept. So we need not be bothered about any particular New year. Any New year is all right. The purpose of having a New year function is to examine what is happening in our lives.

            We have got a human life because we paid a big price using a special currency called punyam. Without losing this opportunity let us accomplish the highest. Otherwise life will become mechanical. We have to see whether we are growing or not. We need not be concerned with the rate of growth or the pains of growth. A bamboo shoot may grow at the rate of several centimeters a day. Other species may grow just a few centimeters a day. The rate of growth is inbuilt into the system. We all have our own rates of growth and we must all know our rate of growth. So there is no need to compare ourselves with others. We are not going to develop a complex. We are not going to become jealous. We make sure we do not feel guilty, do not get frustrated and do not develop an inferiority complex.

            We will all benefit from God’s grace. Some people say,” Everything is in God’s grace.” So they do not take responsibility for anything. This is very irresponsible. At the same time we cannot be arrogant – I can accomplish anything I want. Pride goes before a fall. People who occupied high offices find themselves in prison. We should accept our role and the role of Iswara also. So we take responsibility for ourselves and seek the grace of the Lord through prayers, visiting temples etc.

            When we pray to the Lord, we must remember some rules. We must not pray for anything and everything but only that which is possible. This is true even though Bhagawan is omnipotent. We know from the Puranas that rakshasas do intense tapas. Iswara appears before them and asks,” What boon do you seek?” There seems to be a standard format. The asura would say,” There should not be any death for me.” The Lord would say,” That I cannot give you. Ask for something else.” If Bhagawan cannot fulfill all wishes, how can HE be called omnipotent? To understand this, we must explore and understand the meaning of omnipotence. Omnipotence is the capacity to do everything that is possible. So if we ask impossible things from the Lord, we will not get it and we will doubt the very efficacy of prayer and may even doubt the existence of God. So when we pray, we must know what to ask for. Then, there will be no room for disappointment. Never make the mistake of asking for the impossible. What are the impossibilities or wrong prayers?

            First Impossibility: As long as we live, we have to be active physically and mentally. The body is meant to be active. The mind is meant to be active. So, “O Lord, save me from responsibilities or activities” is a wrong prayer. If we beget children, we must be ready for all the responsibilities that follow. This includes baby-sitting the grandchildren! If we do not want to shoulder this burden and run away to an ashram, we will be faced with the responsibilities of an ashram. If we want to escape from this also and become a wandering monk, the entire world becomes our responsibility. So our prayer can never be for rest. We have to be active till we breathe our last. Freeing oneself from activity is impossible. We can pray from freedom from boredom, “O Lord, let me do all activity with a cheerful mind. Let me find inspiration in all the activities I do. And let me enjoy all the activities I do.”

            Second Impossibility: The future is never under our control, whether it is our future, the future of our children, the future of the companies we work for, or the future of the world. So when we pray,” Let me be successful all the time, let me make profit all the time, let my children be always academically brilliant,” indirectly we are seeking control over the future. Any type of prayer where in we try to indicate some type of control of the future will fail miserably. What we can do is to contribute to the future. We can be contributors, not controllers. We can be contributor to the growth of our children, our well-being, well-being of our companies and the well-being of our nation. So let us not pray for anything that includes control over the future. When we contribute, let us do it with cheerfulness and enthusiasm. Krishna could not prevent the Mahabharata war but HE was a great contributor. When avatars cannot control the future, what can we mere mortals do? “O Lord, let me contribute my best. Let me enjoy what I do. Let me have cheerfulness and enthusiasm.”

            Third Impossibility: The third impossibility is important especially for family people. We must realize that we cannot change others. Even God has failed in this task. Krishna failed in changing Duryodhana. Rama failed in changing Ravana even though HE gave him many opportunities. If we try to change other people, we will fail miserably. Our life will become burdensome. What we can do is to contribute the maximum to the other person’s growth.

            We always judge other people subjectively. So how do we know our judgement is correct? Just as others require growth, we also require growth. Just as we want others to change, others also want us to change. The result is total disharmony. We can help others, provided the other person wants our help. Just as we can help others, we can also seek help from others. “O Lord, change others,” is a wrong prayer. “O Lord, let me contribute to others’ growth. Let me in influence their growth,” should be our prayer’

            We can influence (not change) others in two ways – directly and indirectly – by our language (what we speak) and our living. And in this we may or may not succeed. Most people do not listen. When we talk to another person, instead of listening he is probably planning his reply! The reverse is also often true. This leads to arguments and stalemate. The indirect influence is by our living so that others are inspired by it. We can pray,” O Lord, please give me strength to accommodate others,” – those who are changing for the better, and also those who are changing for the worse or not changing at all.

            Fourth Impossibility: We can never get total satisfaction and security through any set-up. Hoping for such an ideal situation is a pipe dream. Even if there is an ideal set-up, it will become upset. “O Lord, let me discover security in myself whatever be the set-up.” Even Bhagawan can complain about the set-up. In fact, the most dissatisfied should be the Lord. HE created the world, created all beings, and gave us a set of rules called dharma that we are expected to follow. And what do we do? We violate every rule in the book!

To summarize:

“O Lord,

Let me be cheerfully and enthusiastically active. Let me enjoy whatever I do.

Let me contribute to the future; let me not try to control the future.

Let me influence others positively through my life and language; let me not try to change others.

Let me have the wisdom to discover satisfaction and security within myself, whatever be the set-up.”

If we have such a prayer, Bhagawan will certainly co-operate. Praying thus, let us grow and contribute our best.